If the current situation she found herself in wasn’t so fucked up, Daniela would have actually started laughing.  Literal second day in New York City— first full day, if you count the fact that she landed yesterday afternoon.  Second night in the Big Apple, and here she was, getting mugged at knife point… just like her folks had warned her.  She dropped the groceries she had spent the last of her cash on and held up her hands.  Like hell she was going to try to wrangle the weapon from this guy, and the pepper spray and taser and other self-defense stuff her parents insisted she buy before moving were still at the bottom of her suitcase.  Damn, she had hoped to prove her family wrong, now she was just going to end up being a statistic.  At this point, she just hoped she lived long enough to hear them tell her they told her so.

Fate had smiled at her this evening— or, uh… maybe like gave her half a smirk.  While she did find herself in this mess, she wasn’t in it for long.  A figure jumped down from above, and used what appeared to be a broomstick to fight back the mugger.  Her mysterious guardian angel was swift and silent, not making a sound as they defended her.  It wasn’t long before the assailant cut his losses; dropping the knife to the asphalt with a clatter before running away.

Dani let out a shaky breath, but still wasn’t completely relieved.  The “shortcut” she had taken to her new apartment was far darker than it had been when she came from this direction about an hour before.  She couldn’t get a good glimpse at the person approaching her.  She could make out the silhouette— it was tall and bulky, but she couldn’t make out any other features.

“Are you injured?”

The voice was far more soft and soothing than she had anticipated from a guy of this size, especially a certified badass that just swooped in and kicked bad guys to the curb on a whim.  There was something familiar about it, but her nerves were so bad right now, she couldn’t think straight.  She nodded, still trying to process that she had survived.

“Thank you,” she eventually ended up spitting out.  “Oh, my God.  Thank you.”

It was then that the waterworks started.  She hoped she would have at least made it home before the shock wore off, but now here she was, crying and trembling in a dark alleyway with a stranger.

“Hey, hey!  Don’t cry!” the hero said, which dried her tears the moment she heard them…  Not because of the request, but because she had definitely heard that voice before.  Her brows furrowed as she tried to think past the current situation to pinpoint why the hell he sounded so familiar.

“Do I know you?” she asked.  It seemed like an odd question, considering she hadn’t been in the city long enough to make friends yet, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were somehow acquainted.  There was silence for a moment, before the figure finally spoke up.

“… M-Maybe?  You’re, um…  You look a lot like my online friend…  DaniiDankko?”

The sound of her own stupid online handle being uttered out loud caused Dani’s face to flush.  She palmed her face, shaking her head.  Her embarrassment was short-lived, because that statement, that voice, that slight sheepish stutter, it all pointed at one guy— DuzMachines_84.

“… Donnie?” she gasped.

A soft laugh came from his direction.  “… In the flesh.”

Fate was smiling at her, and it was beaming like a motherfucker.  The guy she had been flirting with online for ages was her guardian angel!  Without thinking, she took a step forward, throwing her arms around him.

“Oh, my God!” Dani squealed.  “Donnie!  I should have guessed!”

“Hey, told you I’d keep an eye out for you, remember?”

“Yeah, but... I thought that meant you’d like, run into me at a café, not…  Wow!  It’s really you!”

Dani continued squeezing him, but was a bit disappointed by whatever he was wearing that made him so hard to wrap her arms around.  She pulled back, knocking on his hard chest with her knuckles.  “Should I invest in a bullet proof vest too, or…?”

Awkward chuckling came from him, but she didn’t think twice about it.  From all their past conversations, she knew they were both kind of geeky shut-ins.  He probably wasn’t used to the physical affection.

“My apartments at the end of this alley,” she said.  “Would you like to come in?  It’s kind of a mess right now, but I promise I won’t make you help me unpack.  I’ll have to order a pizza or something since my groceries are all…”  She gestured at the bags at her feet.  “… Yeah.”

“Oh, um.  I… I’m not sure, Dani,” he said.

“Aw, c’mon!  You don’t have to stay long…”  She trailed off, sensing the hesitation from him.  She felt crushed that she’d finally met one of the people she considered her best friends, only for him to stand her up… after saving her life.  “… At least walk me back?  I…  I don’t know how far the guy got, and I…”

“Dani, it’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you,” he started.  “It’s just…”  She heard him sigh.  “…Promise not to freak out?”

“Freak out?  Why would I freak out?”

“I don’t think you will, but… I won’t blame you if you do.”

Dani wanted to comfort him, thinking he probably just had self-esteem issues, not unlike herself.  He’d never posted pictures of himself online, or even hinted about his appearance.  Regardless, she knew he had to be beautiful.  It didn’t matter what he looked like, he was beautiful for being her friend and for saving her life.

Before she could offer her encouragement, she felt a hand close around hers.  A very large, very rough, very oddly shaped hand.  It completely dwarfed her own hand.  Her friend took a step forward, into the sliver of the streetlight from the road that was peeking into the alley.  He was not the gangly gamer guy she had always imagined.  He was nothing like anything she could have imagined.  She blinked a few times, trying to make sure she was seeing him right.  He looked like…

Well…

He looked like a turtle.

If a turtle was built like a basketball player.

Complete with a shell and green skin and other turtley features.

Dani stood there, taking in his appearance.  Most people towered over her, seeing as she barely stood taller than five feet, but this was another story entirely.  Not only was he tall, but he was rather bulky despite his lean frame.  A laugh rose out of her throat as she ran a hand over her head.

“I, uh… assume that’s not a really expensive fursuit?” she eventually said, causing him to chuckle.

“Nope,” he shook his head.  “All me.”

She took a deep breath.

Fate was… blowing her fucking mind right now.  She blushed, and hard.

Like any other socially awkward, chronically online twenty-something year old virgin, she tended to have… unconventional tastes.  Unconventional tastes that she had no qualms about sharing with her circle of other socially awkward, chronically online twenty-something year old virgins— which Donnie had been a part of for years now.  Now, every single thirst post she made about being dominated by big sexy mutants and monsters from movies flooded her memory, as well as all the fucked up art that she’d liked that had definitely ended up on his feed.  He’d seen them.  He’d interacted with them.  He… encouraged them.  Hell, they bonded by sharing dirty fanfiction they found online, frequently involving xenophilic themes.  All this time, she thought he was just a man of culture, like herself.  She didn’t realize it was likely as close as he would get to living those fantasies, just on the flip side of the dynamic.

“You good?” Donatello asked as she stood there in baffled disbelief.

“Yeah.  Yes,” she said.  “It’s just…”  She reached forward with her free hand, tracing down the front of his plastron.  It was real.  He was real.  This was like something out of a wet dream.  She wanted to climb him like a damn tree.  “Wow.  Good God.”

“You’re taking this well,” he laughed.  “I thought you’d at least be a little concerned about learning your buddy is a giant talking turtle.”

“Hey, you know me, Donnie.  I don’t judge, and I sure as hell ain’t all talk,” said Dani as her smirk grew.  “So, are you going to walk me home, or what?”

“I mean, I’d love to.  You know I would, but I can’t exactly stroll across the street like this,” he said, gesturing to himself.  “If it makes you feel better, I can watch you to make sure you make it to the entrance safe.”

“Nah, that’s no fun,” she huffed.  “I finally meet the guy of my dreams and he won’t even come upstairs for a drink?  I know you want to, Don Juan!  I can see your cheeks getting darker!”

She stood on her tiptoes, trying to reach up to pinch his cheek, only for him to brush her hand away and cover his face. 

Donatello shook his head, but was flattered in spite of himself.  “… Fine.  Go upstairs, open your window, and I’ll climb in through the fire escape.”

Dani couldn’t help but giggle a little at how easy it was to get him to crack.  Maybe after tonight, the chronically online twenty-something year old virgins club would have two less members.