“So, why are we here again?  This seems like an odd location for a fight,” Azam asked.

“Duh, no one shops here anymore.  It’s the perfect place for a fight,” you said, cracking your knuckles. “Also, I dig the dystopian aesthetic.”

“Yeah!  Youtube is gonna love this,” Rashid said, patting his trusty GoPro he had strapped to his chest.

The three of you walked aimlessly around the abandoned department store, waiting for Vega to show up.  You felt like you were sucked back in time.  This K-Mart, like many other K-Marts, literally had not changed in years.  Faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights was heard over the dated muzak that played over the intercom.  Literally no one else was in there, you weren’t even sure you saw any employees since you walked in.

“Dude, check it out, a fossil,” Rashid laughed, picking up a very dusty sealed VHS copy of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius off the shelf before taking a picture of it on his phone and uploading it for all of the internet to joke at.

“This is so sad, I love it,” you said.  You wouldn’t even mind if Vega didn’t show up, this was an adventure.

Leaving the pathetic excuse of an electronics department, the three of you ended up in the furniture section, setting eyes on the first human you’ve seen since you stepped inside the store.  A lone man was laying on a futon display.

“Is… is he alive?” Azam asked as you all looked upon the person.  It wouldn’t surprise you if someone had straight up died here and nobody noticed.

Carefully, you approached the body.  The soft snores you heard as you got closer let you know person wasn’t dead, but thankfully, just taking a nap.  As you stood next to him, you recognized that white gi and burly frame.

“Ryu?!?” you asked, putting a hand on the snoozing man’s shoulder.

“Huh?” he said, waking up and rubbing his eyes.

“Hey!  Ryu!  Funny seeing you here,” Rashid said, joining you beside him.  Ryu sat up and stretched.

“Closing time already?” he yawned.

“Wh-? No?  Why are you sleeping here anyway?” you asked, sitting next to him on the futon.  It was quite comfortable.

“Well, I always like to crash at K-Mart’s on my travels.  It’s cheaper than a motel and no one bothers you until it’s time to close,” Ryu admitted.

“Can’t argue with you on that one,” Rashid laughed.

“So what are you guys doing here?  Shopping?” Ryu said.

“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting Vega to beat him up but he hasn’t showed up yet,” you explained.

Ryu’s eyes lit up at the news of fighting.

“Mind if I watch?” he asked.  You laughed and nodded.

“It would be an honor!  And hey, maybe if Vega doesn’t show up we can spar,” you said.

Ryu joined your group and you began to wander around the store some more.  As you strolled past the clothing, you noticed the abandoned fitting rooms.  There wasn’t an attendant in sight.  Your mouth curled into a smirk as you had a mischievous idea.  You patted Rashid’s arm to get his attention.  When he looked at you, you motioned him closer to you.

“We could totally have sex in there and get away with it,” you whispered and pointed at the entrance.

Rashid raised an eyebrow at you and for a moment it looked like you two were totally about to fuck in the fitting rooms, but then for the first time in the hour you had been in that store, an employee walked up.

“Hey um, do you guys need any help?” he said.

“No, no!!!  We’re just looking!” Rashid blurted out of habit.  Azam smacked himself in the forehead.

“Uh… okay…. Let me know if you need anything,” the employee said. 

“Wait, I know you from somewhere,” Ryu said.  He looked at his nametag, but probably couldn’t read English so that was of no use to him.

“Holy shit, Dan???” you said.  “What are you doing here?  How’s the dojo going?”

“Great!  Wonderful!  You know, it never hurts to earn a little extra cash.  Just in case something DOES happen.  Like no students.  Not that that’s why I’m working here.”

‘K-Mart really is where dreams go to die,’ you thought to yourself as you looked at Dan donning the sad blue and black.

“I’m lost, who is this guy?” Rashid said, glancing at Azam.  The big guy shrugged, he had never met him before either.

“He’s one of our friends.  He’s, uh, also a fighter,” you said.

“Hey, you know me.  I’m Dan!  IamSaiKyo?  I follow you on twitter, haha,” Dan said to Rashid.  Rashid just nodded and laughed nervously.  He still had no clue who the fuck this guy was.

“At last, I found you!” a voice called out, breaking up the awkwardness.  Your group turned around, facing Vega.

“Vega!  About time you show up!” you said, holding a fist up in a very cliché way.

 “This place, just a shell of its former beauty.  How sad.  Like how you will be after I win.”

“Cut the crap, Vega.  It’s time for me to beat the shit out of you!”

Being the hot-head you were, you lunged at him and made the first punch, connecting with his jaw.  Things turned nasty real quick, you weren’t about to touch Vega’s face and get away with it.  He tried to jab you with his claw, but you were swift and dodged it.  You threw another punched and he blocked it before throwing you back.  You landed on a clothes rack, knocking it over and flinging all the Jaclyn Smith knit tops onto the ground.  Dan gasped in horror, knowing after the fight was done he’d have to zone this section.  Vega came at you again with his claw, and you used your arms to block, causing him to slice your arm instead of your face.  Blood dripped onto your face as you blocked Vega from slashing at it.  You kicked him off of you and managed to stand back up.  You hit Vega with a sick combo featuring one of your special moves, stunning him, then got him in a headlock and punched him in the face.

“Not in the face, not in the face!” he squealed.  It appeared that the fight was over.  You got up, holding your still-bleeding arm.

“Nice fight,” you said, offering Vega a hand up.  He smacked your hand away.

“You fucking SJW stop being nice to me,” Vega snarled, helping himself off the ground.  He stomped out of the store, knocking all the crisply folded t-shirts off a table, much to Dan’s dismay.

EXCLUSIVE SPICY EPILOGUE

“This has got to be the least sexy place I have ever had sex,” Rashid said, pulling up his pants. “I feel like I may have gotten an STD from a dust bunny.”

“Yeah, but at least we have a funny story, right?” you added as you straightened your hair in the cracked mirror of the fitting room stall.  You saw Rashid in the reflection behind you and something caught your eye. “Wait…. Was the GoPro on that entire time?”

Rashid looked down, noticing the blinking red light on the camera strapped to his chest.

“Looks like we got a little more than a story,” he laughed.