Falco ran his fingers through his feathers after he took the keys out of his ignition.  For a moment after cutting the engine, he sat in the cockpit of his Arwing.  Spending the evening docked at Eladard was not how he wanted to spend his evening… His birthday.

He glanced at the comm monitor inside of his Arwing to check the date again before it turned off, confirming that it was indeed his birthday.  Instead of spending it like he preferred, in the skies pretending it was just any other day, he was stuck on the one planet that was only a reminder of how things used to be.  He didn’t even know what they were doing in this sector.  Last he checked they were en route back to Corneria.  Fox must have picked up some kind of job that he didn’t bother to tell the rest of the gang about.  Falco rolled his eyes.  Typical.

He really didn’t know why he was in a sour mood.  It wasn’t like birthdays ever meant anything to him.  And it wasn’t like he even ever told anyone about his.  He preferred people to know as little about him as possible, even those he spent all his time with.  Still, there was some twinge of disappointment that he couldn’t exactly put his finger on.

Loneliness, a voice in the back of his mind told him.  That feeling was loneliness.  With a scoff, he opened the cockpit and jumped out of his Arwing.  He needed to get some drinks in him before that stupid voice got louder.  He wasn’t lonely; he was alone… Just like he liked it, he reminded himself.

The one good thing about Eladard was that there weren’t many people around these days.  He was grateful for that much, at least.  If he had to spend his evening with a bunch of rowdy jackasses, he’d likely end up in a fight.  The old bar was quiet with only a few patrons scattered around, minding their own business.  The seat closest to the wall was open, so he wandered in that direction and claimed it. When the bartender walked up, he mumbled an order.  Falco reached in his back pocket for his wallet as bartender walked away to find a glass.  Within a moment, he returned with the requested cheap whiskey in hand.  When Falco held out the credits to pay for his drink, a paw brushed his hand away.

“He’s on my tab tonight.”

That voice had Falco straightening up in his seat.  His beak parted in disbelief as he turned his head in the direction of the voice, but then he couldn’t fight the grin that claimed the corners of his mouth.

“Zorra?”

“Heya, babygirl,” she said with a wink.  “Didn’t think I’d forget, did you?”

“How the hell did you know I was here?”

“Wow…  Always know exactly what to say to greet a lady.” The raccoon chuckled as she took the stool beside him.  “I’m the reason why you’re here in the first place, Lombardi.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“Oh, c’mon. You didn’t think it was suspicious for the Great Fox to be docked for the night here of all places?  This isn’t exactly the best place in the galaxy to refuel, and it certainly isn’t a tourist destination,” she asked.  She pulled the glass away from his hands and took a sip before sliding it back to him.  “Your fearless leader owed me a favor.”

“And you wasted it on me?” he said, sounding thoroughly amused.

Zorra shrugged.  

“He said you’re always in a better mood after hanging out with me anyway.”

“You’re unbelievable. You know that?” he said as he tipped his glass to his beak.  He didn’t sound nearly as sarcastic as he intended, making Zorra laugh again.

“So I’ve heard…  How old are you now?”

“We’re the same age, Zor.”

“Nuh-uh, you’re a few months older.”

He rolled his eyes, but indulged her.  “I’m thirty.”

“Damn, you’re old,” she teased.  She leaned over, combing her claws through his plumage.  “I think a see a gray feather.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled as he swatted at her paw.  “I’m a real geezer now.”

Falco couldn’t help but laugh after responding to her.  Chuckling herself, she waved the bartender over to bring her a drink of her own and another for Falco.

“You look good for thirty,” she said as she waited for the bartender to return.  “Few more years and you might even look DILFy.”

Her comment really got a snort out of him.  “Yeah? I might be fine with that, as long as I don’t have to be responsible for any little brats.”

Zorra opened her mouth to quip back, but was interrupted by two glasses being sat down in front of them. After thanking the bartender and letting him to walk away, she lifted her glass.

“To my rival, my best friend, the biggest pain in my ass, the best damn pilot in the galaxy, and let’s not forget, my babygirl,” she said.  

“That’s a mouthful,” he mumbled, causing her to elbow him.

“Happy birthday.”

Falco laughed and lifted his own glass to clink against hers.

“Cheers,” he said before bringing the glass to his beak and tipping it back as she did the same.  The liquor burned as it flowed down his throat, warming him from the inside out.  When he sat the glass back down, he caught his reflection on the glass and his smile began to fade.  Thirty, huh? It wasn’t old by any means, but it just didn’t seem right to him.  In some ways, he still felt like some jackass teenager, even though he knew he grew out of that a long time ago.

“Hey, Zor?” he said, getting her attention.  She looked over at him, tilting her head.  “Didja ever think we’d make it this far?”

Her neutral expression turned into a fond smile.

“Well, to be honest, I’m still surprised either of us dumbasses made it past 21.”

“Same,” he agreed. They both laughed, but it was a bittersweet sound for Falco.  The sound reminded him of the past, of the days now over ten years ago when the two of them were young and reckless, living and flying together, doing everything except submitting to their feelings for one another.  The only thing that remained of those days were those stupid feelings that he always tried to convince himself didn’t exist.  They didn’t wane like he hoped; they only grew stronger, more difficult to ignore.  No matter what he wanted to believe, he wasn’t getting rid of Zorra. He’d come to expect that she would always be there as she always had been.  Even if they went years without seeing one another again, she’d welcome him back into her life with open arms— after a few choice words, of course.  He hated that it took him so long to come to terms with it.  And as he sat there, recognizing the effort she put into seeing him tonight and considering the effort she always took when it came to him, it began to bother him that he wasted so many years leaving her hanging.

“You okay?” she asked, noticing his face turn somber.

Falco forced a half-smile. “Yeah.  Just… reminiscing, I guess.”

“Not like you to be nostalgic, Lombardi,” she said with a small laugh.  She gestured at the bartender to bring another round. “Something on your mind?”

He considered if he wanted to bother telling her the truth, then realized she wouldn’t accept anything but that. He waited for their drinks before he spoke up.

“Do you ever wish we could go back to those days?”

“Hell no,” she answered so confidently before downing her drink.

“No?” he asked with a laugh.

“Nope,” she said after wiping her chin with her wrist.  “Sure, I can admit miss being up your ass every day, but if I had my way, I’d prefer to be up the ass of this new, mature Falco.  He seems to take me a little more seriously than his younger self did.  Not to mention, I like having money to spoil you every time I see you.”

She reached over to ruffle his feathers, causing him to laugh and duck away.

“Y’know, yeah.  When you put it like that, I agree with ya,” he said.  “I guess we are both better off now.  I sure as hell don’t miss being that kid.”

Their laughter faded and soon Falco was sipping his drink slowly.

“I guess I just miss… I dunno… The freedom?  The ignorance?”

The company…

He shut his eyes as that voice spoke up again, mentally telling it to shut up and not make things awkward.

“If I had done half as much as you,” Zorra started.  “I’d sit back enjoy this part of your life.  You’ve accomplished a lot for someone your age.  Not many can say they had a hand in protecting the entire system… twice.”

Falco’s feathers ruffled in a mixture of embarrassment and pride.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it protecting,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s kinda my job, ya know? Flyin’ around and shootin’ things. Making a buck.”

“It’s not like you to be humble, babygirl,” she said.  “Where’s Mr. Greatest in the Galaxy when you need him?  You’re one hell of a pilot, and you know it.  If you don’t want to be considered a hero, that’s fine.  I think it’s cheesy too, but that doesn’t diminish the badass things you’ve done.”

Falco cut eyes at Zorra, but didn’t speak.  She frowned, lowering her own glass to the bar.

“All right.  Talk to me, Falco.  What is it that’s nagging at you?” she asked, losing her playful tone for one of utmost sincerity.  “What haven’t you accomplished yet that has you feeling like a failure?”

“I don’t feel like a failure,” he began, but the look she gave him shut him up.  As he looked at her, it was so painfully clear what he had been missing.  He averted his eyes, but he could still feel her gaze boring into him.  After another sigh, he tried again.

“Really, it’s nothing. I just…”  He paused, his throat catching in his chest.  He cleared it before attempting to continue.  “I guess I wish…  I dunno…”

“Shh…”  Her hand came down on his shoulder, stopping him when it became clear he wasn’t comfortable discussing this in public.  “Let’s finish these drinks and go somewhere a little more private to talk, okay?”

With an appreciative smile, he nodded.  They finished their drinks and Zorra paid for the tab.  The cool night wind pierced through Falco’s layers when they stepped outside.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Let’s take a walk,” she said.  She caught him glance at his Arwing and laughed.  “The ships’ll be fine.  Trust me.”

She began walking, with him tagging along not too far behind her.  

At this hour, in this town, Falco couldn’t help but feel transported back to those Hot Rodder days. A lot of late nights were spent stumbling down this street, picking fights and cat-calling on the way back to their hideout.  The place hadn’t changed a bit.  It seemed like the one corner of the galaxy untouched by the Lylat Wars.  It was still the slummy shit-hole that he considered home for a long time.  In spite of this, Falco found comfort in the familiarity of his atmosphere.  Zorra may not have wanted to admit she was nostalgic too, but Falco couldn’t be fooled.  Why else would she convince the leader of a rival team to bring her little friend back to the place where they spent their formative years for one night?

Zorra ducked into an alley, and Falco’s head cleared enough for him to recognize exactly where they were going the moment that he saw her next to those emergency escape stairs.  He was too distracted to realize it on the walk over, but she had guided him back to the Hot Rodders’ old hangout spot.  She climbed the first few steps, then looked over her shoulder at him.

“You coming?” she asked. He chuckled, but began ascending the old rickety stairs with her.

“Surprised this dump’s still standing,” he said as he followed her up.

She laughed, but otherwise didn’t respond.  When they reached the rooftop, Falco couldn’t help but grin.  The stars above and the neon lights from the surrounding buildings illuminated the area enough for him to see two lawn chairs that were in way too good of condition to be just left here and a cooler between them.  As she sashayed to the little setup, Falco crossed his arms and shook his head.

“You planned this?”

“Why the hell would I go through all the trouble of getting you dragged to this planet just to hang out in a shitty bar with you for a few hours?” she laughed as she flopped into one of the lawn chairs and threw open the cooler.  “I prefer shitty rooftops on sketchy buildings.  Get your tail feathers over here.”

Falco joined her, catching the can she tossed in his direction when he was close enough before sitting down in the other chair.

“A big girl like you can’t afford a better beer than this?” he jokingly asked as he held up the can.

“Oh, I could… But we both know you wouldn’t drink it.  Anyway, a nicer beer would ruin the immersion,” she laughed.

“The immersion,” he repeated with a small laugh as he cracked open the cold one.  The two clanked their cans together before he took a deep swallow, letting the familiar taste of the cheap beer hit his palate, then sighed and melted into the lawn chair.  Déjà vu was kicking his ass right then.  He swore he’d lived this exact scene countless times with her.  In fact, he knew he did, and that was the whole reason why they were up there again like this in the first place.

“Y’know,” he said, sitting the can atop the cooler lid.  “I never really pegged you as the sentimental type.”

She looked over at him like he was an idiot.

“Really?” she flatly asked. When it was clear that he wasn’t being facetious, she scoffed.  “To this day, I still walk around in my Grandpa’s jacket and for years I drove a rust bucket just because it reminded me of his.  I don’t even try to hide it.”

The bird snorted at this, then shook his head.

“Well… Yeah.  You’re right.  Sorry, I guess I meant…  I never thought…”

“That you were just as special to me?” she finished for him, giving him a soft smirk when she saw the color drain from his face.  She laughed and reached into her jacket to grab a cigarette.  She lit one with a practiced hand and took a long drag before flicking it into the dark sky, then turning to look at him.  “So, are you gonna tell me why you’re so miserable or are you gonna let it loom over you all night?”

She held out the cigarette after her question, and he accepted despite having quit years before. He took a drag, relishing the long-forgotten flavor.  The taste of cheap beer and tobacco always reminded him of how it used to taste to kiss her when the two of them wound up at his place after a long night of being delinquents.  That had long since been replaced by the taste of whiskey that they both wound up preferring as they matured.  As he thought about it, he couldn’t remember a single instance when they were sober and fooled around like that.  Falco supposed it was always easier for him to blame it on the alcohol than admit the obvious.

“Why do you stick around, Zor?” he asked after blowing a ring of smoke into the night sky.  “What do you get outta this?  What is it about me that hasn’t run you off yet?”

“I could tell you, but I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

She reached over and pulled the cigarette out of his hands, taking a drag before offering it back to him.

“Y’know what?  I’m listening,” Falco said.  “All ears.  Lay it on me. Consider it my birthday present.”

With a roll of her eyes, her face lost its playful expression and became serious.

“It’s because I love you, dumbass,” she said.  Her words knocked that smug look right off his face.  “For damn near ten years, I’ve loved you.  And you know I don’t expect to ever have you, but I love you, so I’ll take what I can get.  Competing with you gave me a reason to live.  Keeping up with you is the only reason I never gave up.  You were the only one who ever believed in me, and I never wanted to let you down because I love you.  Whether what you feel for me is love or not, I know you get something out of being around me too, and seeing you a little less miserable fills that void for me, even if it’s always bittersweet.  Even if I only get the chance once in a blue moon, moments like this with you make my life worthwhile.”  

Falco’s beak opened to speak, but the words never came.  After all they had been through, he shouldn’t have found this surprising, but he did anyway. He felt too ashamed to look in her direction.  He could sense how embarrassing this was for her, and how vulnerable she felt after admitting this to him.  She never let anyone see her lose her cool.  Never.  And for her to show so much of her real side to him was proof of the love she spoke of seconds before.

“Now, are you going to tell me what you refused to at the bar?” she asked.  He could hear how her words wavered and a slight sniffle in her voice.  “C’mon. Tell me.  What’s left for the bird who has and has done everything?”

Falco sighed and melted further into his seat.  He looked straight up at the clear sky above.  There was a reason she said all that, and it wasn’t because he asked.  Yet again, she was putting forth the effort for him. She may have been stubborn, but he was worse, and she did what she considered making a fool of herself so he wouldn’t feel as bad about what she had realized he still was embarrassed to admit.

“I think you already know, Zor,” he mumbled without looking at her.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do… But you know I like to gloat.  So, tell me, what do you want for your birthday?”

After a pause, Falco laughed.

“It’s you, smartass,” he said.  “I want you. And I want to be able to allow myself to love you as freely as you love me.  Happy?”

He glanced over, watching as she held the cigarette to mouth.  She raised a brow, daring him to confess the rest.

“I mean it, Zor,” he said, his voice softer as he continued.  “I’ve proved myself as a pilot.  I’ve had enough excitement and adventure to last anyone a lifetime.  I’ve tasted freedom, and it turns out flyin’ solo really ain’t what it cracked up to be.  It’s nice and all, but something’s always missing.  That something is you.  Geez, it kills me to say that.  You know it does.”

Her face softened with a gentle smile.  

“Yeah, I know,” she said. “That’s why it means so much that you did.”

The remainder of the cigarette was tossed onto the cement and crushed beneath the heel of her boot. She got up, walked over, and seated himself on his lap.

“Go ahead and gloat,” he said as her arms wrapped around his neck.  “Tell me how you predicted all this back when we first met.”

“I didn’t,” she chuckled. “I didn’t even predict it earlier this evening.  I thought I’d go my whole life without getting you to admit it.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” he said as his hand settled above her tail on the small of her back.  “You want me to believe you planned this whole elaborate birthday surprise without realizing that I’d end up in your arms?”

“I never can tell with you,” she said with a slight shrug.  “I figured you’d either sleep with me since I went through all the trouble or get mad that I made a big deal out of your birthday.”

“So, your true goal was to drag me out here to fuck you?”

“My true goal was to help you celebrate a milestone, since I knew you’d just sulk if left to your own devices,” she said.  “Getting some of that primo bird dick was just my icing on the cake.”

“You’re so eloquent,” he laughed, finally wrapping his arms around her waist.  His head landed on her chest, and his eyes grew heavy as he felt claws carding through the feathers on the back of his head.  It was a perfect moment.  Hell, it was the best birthday gift he could ever have.  He really couldn’t ask for more, but he didn’t want to end the evening on such a sappy note.

“Can I make another birthday request or have I pushed my luck?”

Zorra made a point of looking at her watch before answering.

“Well, it’s not midnight yet,” she said.  “Go ahead.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the view up here,” he started, lifting his head to glance up at the stars before looking back at her.  “But if you’re still up for some primo bird dick, I’d really appreciate the view of you going down on me… Perhaps somewhere a little more private than this.”

There was a slight giggle and smile in her voice as she replied.

“You know I love to spoil you, especially on your birthday.  Let’s get out of here.”