Rocko’s eyes were glued on the clock hanging from his wall as he ate his morning cereal.  The hands ticked slowly, almost painfully for him. After what felt like an eternity of watching, the clock hit nine.  He jumped up from his seat at the table and rushed to the window in his living room. Lifting the blinds, he peered out, looking in the direction of his neighbor’s house.  Like clockwork, the door to the house next door opened.  That first glimpse at one of the long legs of his gorgeous neighbor got Rocko’s blood pumping.  He pressed his eyes to the window, practically drooling all over himself as he watched the sexy lynx walk to her mailbox.  His heart pounded outside of his chest as he watched the sway of her hips.

His voyeurism was interrupted by the sound of his front door opening.  Rocko quickly pulled his face away from the glass pane, blushing furiously that his best friend had caught him spying on his neighbor.  

“Whatcha doin’, Rock?” Heffer said with a knowing smirk.

“Oh! N-Nothing,” Rocko said hastily.  “Just, uh… Thought I heard something outside…  Heh heh…”

Heffer crossed his arms, tapping his foot.

“Spying on Fiona again?” he asked with a laugh.

“What?!  No, I’m not spying on anyone…”

“Face it, Rock.  You’re worse now than you were with Melba.”

“I-I am not!” Rocko said, stomping his foot.  He crossed his arms and averted his eyes before mumbling.  “She’s way prettier than Melba ever was though…”

“Oh boy.  We really need to get you laid,” the steer said, causing him to sputter.

“Wh-What?  Where the blazes did that come from?” he asked, flustered.

“You can’t keep drooling over your neighbors.  Staring at girls through the window like a creep isn’t going to win any hearts, man.”

“I’m not being a creep! I-I’m just…”  Rocko was sweating now from being put on blast by his best friend. He tugged at the collar of his shirt. “I’m just admiring her beauty, ‘s all!”

“And she’ll never notice you if you’re always staring at her through the windows,” said Heffer.  “Just go talk to her if you like her so much. She’s really nice.  I talk to her all the time!”

Rocko shook his head and let out a sigh of frustration.

“I can’t… I can’t just talk to her,” the wallaby said.  “I-I… I don’t know what to say.  You and I both know I’m not the best at talking to girls, let alone stunning ones like her…  What if she has a boyfriend?”

“What if she doesn’t?”

Heffer waited as Rocko tried to string together some kind of retort, then snorted when he couldn’t and walked over to his friend’s side.

“Rock, what if we get you some experience talkin’ to girls?”

Rocko frowned.

“I don’t like the sound of this,” he said, unfolding his arms.  “Last time you tried this, I ended up on a date with you because of that lousy game show.”

“Nah, don’t worry!  I got the perfect way to practice,” Heffer insisted.  “You don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home!  Who knows?  You might even make a real connection that’ll distract you from her entirely!  And I promise, it won’t be me this time!”

The wallaby raised a brow, but Heffer didn’t say another word.  He grabbed Rocko’s wrist and dragged him away from the window and across the living room to where his desktop computer was set up.

“We’re finally gonna put this thing to use!” he said, pressing the button to power it on before squeezing himself into the computer chair.  Rocko stood to the side of the chair that creaked under his friend’s weight, incredulously looking at the screen as the computer booted up.  “Hope you paid your internet bill.”

Rocko laughed nervously.

“I… think I have one of those disks around here somewhere,” he muttered.  “Um, in the desk.  I think.”

Heffer reached into a drawer and pulled out a disk labeled ‘Internet.’  “Whoo-hoo! Now we’re cookin’!”

The steer held the disk up triumphantly before pressing the button to open the disk drive.  As soon as the computer recognized the disk, it began loading and installing the contents.  

“Ooh boy!” he excitedly said.  “Won’t be long before you’re chatting with babes!”

Rocko just looked on, confused.  Heffer’s excitement made him more nervous, and his uneasiness climbed as the progress bar inched along.  About halfway through the installation, it froze.  The two watched with bated breath, but it didn’t budge.

“Uh, Heff?” Rocko said after a minute of waiting.  “I think it’s stuck.”

“No, no… Don’t worry about that,” Heffer replied.  “It’s all part of the process!  Just gotta be patient.  It’s got a lot of Internet to install…”

Rocko nodded in acknowledgement, growing silent again as they waited on the installation to finish. After a few moments of no progress, Heffer leaned forward and stared intently at the monitor.

“Any minute now,” he said, still smiling.  “Pretty sure I just saw it move.  You’ll be talking to all sorts of beautiful women before you know it.”

Rocko’s eyes drifted from the monitor back over to the window.  He didn’t know how a computer was going to help him talk to Fiona.  And he didn’t want to talk with other women, either.  Fiona was the only one he wanted.  He may have said this countless times before, but it was real this time.  She was the only one he loved.  The sound of a phone being dialed snapped Rocko’s attention back to the computer.

“Whoo-hoo!  It’s dialing up!” Heffer exclaimed.  He seemed more excited than ever as the speakers began to chirp and warble.  This was soon replaced by a harsh, piercing screech, so loud it made Spunky whimper and dart to hide under the couch cushions.  Rocko grimaced and covered his ears as the screeching continued to increase in volume until it stopped abruptly.  He blinked, taking his hands away from his ears.

“Aaaand… connected!”

Heffer cracked his knuckles as his grin spread.  He then began typing frantically.  Rocko stepped closer to get a better look at the screen.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Heffer glanced away from the monitor and gave him an exaggerated wink as he tilted his head towards the screen.  Rocko’s eyes widened when he saw what Heffer had pulled up.

“No,” Rocko said firmly, pink rising to his cheeks.  “Nuh-uh. Absolutely not.”

Heffer chuckled as he typed away, dismissing the wallaby’s protests.  “Oh, you’ll be fine.  A little chat room never hurt anyone.”

Rocko read the screen again, frowning.  He crossed his arms and looked at his friend.

“How exactly does a chat room help me talk to a real girl?”

Heffer shrugged and kept typing.

“These are real girls too.”

“You know what I mean, Heff.”

“Well, you don’t have to go anywhere,” he explained.  “All you gotta do is sit back, relax, and chat with whoever else is in there.  It’s completely anonymous!  You don’t gotta worry about them seeing you, so you can be yourself!”

He finished typing shortly after saying then and got up out of the chair.

“All yours, Rock!”

Rocko looked at Heffer suspiciously, who nodded and gestured at the computer chair.  The wallaby jumped up onto the seat and pulled himself closer to the desk.  He dragged a hand down his face when he saw the username that Heffer had created for him— wallababemagnet.

“Really, Heffer?” he groaned, not bothering to try and hide his annoyance.  Upon looking back at the screen, he saw that Heffer had already sent a (rather obnoxious) introduction message on his behalf. Rocko sighed, resigning himself to whatever happened next.  Much to his surprise, many of the other users were beginning to welcome him.  Seeing kind words from complete strangers made him feel oddly more at ease about the whole situation.  He looked over his shoulder back at Heffer.

“Um… What do I say next?”

His friend grinned at him and pointed to the chat room.

“You tell them anything you like!  Talk about whatever you wanna talk about!  Just don’t say any really naughty stuff or you might get banned… There’s a separate chat for that!”

Rocko nodded, trying hard not to blush at the idea of a naughty chat.  When he turned back to the chat window, he saw that a separate conversation had picked up.

“Oh!”  The wallaby’s ears perked up.  “They’re talking about W.W.W.W.F.!”

“Great!” Heffer said. “Go ahead and chime in.”

Rocko smiled as his hands reached for the keyboard and began to send a message about how well his favorite wrestler did in the last PPV.  There were a few mixed responses, and Rocko began to feel like he had said something wrong, until a user named felinefine sent an enthusiastic reply in response to this, telling him he had better taste than the others in the chat since they shared the same favorite.  One little bit at the end though confused him.

“Heff… What’s that mean?”

Heffer looked over Rocko’s shoulder as he pointed at the end of the message.  The steer began to laugh and nudged him with his elbow.

“Ooh-hoo!  She winked at you!”

“Huh?”

“Turn your head to the side… It kinda looks like a winky face.”

Rocko’s head rotated 90 degrees.  His face turned red when he realized that it did indeed look like a winking smiley face.

“Oh, my…”

Heffer snickered and elbowed him again.

“This is your chance, Rock. She’s flirting!  You can learn how to flirt by practicing on her!”

The wallaby swallowed nervously.  “Already? But, um…”  He tapped his fingers together.  “I-I don’t know this… person…  I don’t even know if it’s a girl.”

His friend rolled his eyes.

“That’s the beauty of it!” he exclaimed.  “No matter who it is, you can pretend that’s the girl you’ve been drooling over forever! Or whoever!”

He felt a little weird at Heffer’s suggestion, but not enough to stop his hands from returning to the keyboard.  

“How do I respond to something like that?”

Heffer stroked his chin in thought before speaking up.  “Just say ‘guess you know what that means’ with a winky face of your own!”

“What…? What the nut is that supposed to mean?” Rocko asked hesitantly.

“It can mean whatever she wants it to mean!  Just trust me!”

Rocko shook his head as he typed the message.  He didn’t quite understand what he was getting into, but he decided to just play along and see where things went.  Felinefine responded to him almost immediately.  Her response made Rocko blush even harder— but not because he was embarrassed.  He was confused, but also strangely intrigued.  He couldn’t help but glance at his friend.

“What’d she say?” Heffer asked.

Rocko cleared his throat before muttering, “She said… uh… well… she said… she thinks the new guy is her new favorite…”

The steer laughed as he slapped Rocko’s back.

“You’re impressing ‘em already!”

Rocko blushed furiously as he typed another response.  He wasn’t sure if he should be surprised, amused, or scared by the way that things seemed to be progressing.

“Hey, you’re a natural!” Heffer exclaimed.  “Now you just keep flirting with her like that.  You’ll be good to go in no time!”

△ ▽ △

Rocko had lost track of time as he sat at the computer and typed the day away.  Heffer had left many hours ago after spending the afternoon explaining chat acronyms and emoticons to him while also coaching him in netiquette. Yet despite how late it had gotten, Rocko was glued to his spot.  His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, tapping out messages almost faster than he could think them.  As the night drew on, more and more users joined the chat room, making it seem like a real party.  He was surprised at how well he clicked with the people in this chat, especially felinefine, who he swore was flirting exclusively with him.  He found himself a little sad when she announced she was logging off for the night and that it had been nice chatting with him.  Before he cut off his computer, he noticed a new chat window pop up.  Confused, it clicked on it to discover that it was a direct message from felinefine.

“soooo.... cya 2moro wallababe?”

Rocko’s heart leapt in his chest at the question.  For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, but his fingers didn’t hesitate to respond to her.

“of course ;-)” he typed, smiling brightly.  “g’night ff!”

He hit enter and waited expectantly.

“yay! ttfn :-*”

Rocko stared at the screen for several seconds as he watched the dot beside her name go from green to gray. He felt all warm and fuzzy inside. He couldn’t place it, but something about it seemed to make sense.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning off his computer.  It was well past midnight, yet it didn’t feel like much time had passed at all.  With a sigh, he got up and stretched, still grinning from ear to ear.  As he headed towards the bathroom to shower, he found himself wondering what his new virtual friend looked like.  He didn’t consider himself to be a shallow guy.  It didn’t take a super model to please him.  But if she was half as attractive as her personality was, he’d consider himself to have hit the jackpot.  He couldn’t help but think about it, and he drifted to sleep that night dwelling on her.

The next morning, Rocko woke up bright and early with a strange feeling in his stomach.  It was something akin to butterflies mixed with nervousness and excitement.  He hopped out of bed with a newfound energy, eager to start his day.  After feeding Spunky, he grabbed his bowl of cereal and took it straight to his desk.  He had to take a minute to steady himself when the first thing he saw when he got connected was the previous night’s chat logs.  He read them over again, grinning and blushing every time he saw the wink face emoticon appear, which was frequently.  The main chat had continued long after the two of them signed off, and he took the time to catch up on the ongoing conversation until he heard the familiar blip of a new message… directly to him from felinefine.

“ooo is my buddy online :-D”

Rocko’s ears perked up at the message.  The little dot beside his screen name was green now, announcing his presence before he even had a chance to type.  He smiled, knowing that the message was for him and him alone.  It surprised him that she was already online when they had stayed up so late, but he wasn’t complaining.

“g’day ff!!!!!!!” he typed and sent the message before taking a bite out of his cereal.

“heyyy wallababe!!! sleep well?”

Rocko swallowed quickly. His cheeks burned red as he remembered all last night’s flirtation again.  It was hard to go to sleep when all he could think about was what they had said to one another, but when he did fall asleep, he had the sweetest dreams. He managed to nod his head before sending a quick message back.

“yes! slept like a baby. hbu?”

“as good as i could by myself ;-)”

A goofy grin spread across Rocko’s face as he read her reply.  The teasing was beginning early this morning.  He chuckled and brought his fingers back to the keys.  He hated to admit, but Heffer had the right idea. He was a lot more confident when hiding behind a computer screen.  The message he typed out would never be something he could say aloud, yet he sent it without a second thought.

“maybe 1 day i can help w that? ;)”

He couldn’t stop grinning as he shoveled more cereal in his mouth.  The feeling of being bold and daring was exhilarating, even if it only happened online.

“anytime ur ready~”

Rocko went to type another message, but a second message came through from her.

“brb”

“ok”

Rocko sat back, folding his hands in his lap as he waited for his chat buddy to return.  He idly glanced down at the computer’s clock and his eyes bulged when he noticed the time… 9:01 AM.

He hopped up out of his chair and rushed over to the window.  Fiona was already at her mailbox by the time he peeked through the blinds… He couldn’t believe he almost missed her today!  It seemed Heffer was right about more things than one.  The chatroom was helping him get his mind off Fiona.  When he chatted with felinefine, his neighbor barely crossed his mind.  He frowned, turning away from the window as Fiona walked inside.  There was a twinge of guilt at how he was still lusting after his neighbor when he had such a connection with his new online friend. Though he wasn’t in a relationship with either of them, he felt like he was cheating on one with the other…  

The sound of another message caught his attention before he could wallow in these feelings, and he walked back to his PC see that felinefine had returned and announced she was back.  His internal quandary was forgotten at once as he hopped back in the computer chair with the biggest smile on his face.

The two talked for hours until she announced that she needed to get ready for work.  Rocko was disappointed that she was logging off, but she promised she would be online after her shift tonight.  Before she did, she sent him one final message that made him blush.

“have a good day wallababe <3”

Heffer hadn’t told him what that one meant, but he figured he needed to look to the side to understand it. When he did, he swore he saw a heart. He grinned to himself and typed out his response.

“u 2 ff!!!!”

△ ▽ △

RRocko spent most of the afternoon running errands.  He went to the grocery store, bought some food and supplies for himself and Spunky, then swung by Chokey Chicken for a bite to eat.  As he was driving, he remembered a conversation from the night prior about movies.  There was this new one out that he had not yet seen nor heard of, but felinefine insisted that it was her favorite.  Since he’d arrive home a few hours before his new buddy’s shift was over according to what she had told him, he figured it’d be the perfect time to watch it so they’d have something to talk about later.  He decided to swing by the video store to see if it was available to rent.  Plenty-O-Flix came into view and he pulled into the parking lot before hopping out and walking inside.

“Welcome to Plenty-O-Flix!” he heard a feminine voice say when he stepped into the store.

Rocko turned to the source of the voice, and saw none other than his neighbor behind the counter.  He froze in place, eyes growing wide as he stood under Fiona’s gaze.

“Oh, hey!  I know you,” she said with a growing smile.  “It’s… Rocko, right?”

Rocko nodded, unable to form words.  She knew who he was!  How did she know who he was?  As far as he could remember, he had never talked to her.

“Sorry, not trying to weird you out,” she laughed.  “I dunno if you know me.  I just moved in next door to you not too long ago…”

He didn’t know how to say that he knew her very well without coming off as a creep.  She must not have caught him staring out his window each morning. That was a bit of a relief, at least.

“F-Fiona, yeah?” he managed to squeak out.

“Yep, that’s me!” she said, beaming as she adjusted the name tag on her shirt.  He tried not to stare at the way her polo top stretched across her chest behind the name tag.  “Was there something I could help you find?”

“Oh, yeah.  Um…” he trailed off, trying desperately to remember what it was he wanted to rent.  Seeing her had made his mind go blank.  It took him a moment or two, but finally he managed to speak up.  “I-I’m looking for Tyrannosaurus Wrecks…”

Her eyes widened and the smile on her face spread as she clapped her hands together.

“Really?” she exclaimed.  “Oh man, that’s my favorite!  Just follow me, Rocko.  It’s right back here.”

She walked out from behind the counter and towards the back of the store.  He followed along close behind, feeling hot from being so close to her. She was even more attractive up close, and so tall.  He followed her long legs up to her cute little bobbed tail that peeked out of the shorts that hugged her shapely bottom.  Ashamed, he lowered his gaze, trying to keep his focus straight ahead, but he was eye-level with her plush thighs.  Her fur looked so soft and fuzzy, he just wanted to reach out and touch her.  He thought he was going to faint.

She stopped abruptly, and he was so distracted that he bumped into her and fell flat on his tail. She spun around, then gasped when she saw him on the ground.

“Oh!” she said.  “Sorry!”

She offered a hand down for him and he accepted it gratefully, allowing himself to be pulled back up onto his feet.

“Are you okay?” she asked with a frown.

Rocko nodded.  “Yep.  Good as new.” He was embarrassed that he crashed into her that he couldn’t bring himself to look up.  “Sorry to run into you…  Should have paid attention to where I was going.”

“Oh, don’t worry.  It happens,” she said, giving him a sympathetic smile.  “I walk into stuff all the time when I’m distracted by these covers.”

He didn’t know if he believed that or if she was just saying it to make him feel better, but he appreciated the sentiment.

“Well.  Here it is!” she said, gesturing to the shelf.  “Have you seen it before?”

“No.  My… friend suggested I see it.”

It felt odd to say that this stranger he’d only started talking to as of yesterday was his friend, but it felt true to him.  There was a little flutter in his chest after he referred to felinefine as such.  Fiona plucked the empty case off the top of the rack and offered it to him.

“You’re gonna love it!” she said.  “I swear, I recommend it to everyone!”

He took the case from her and held it in front of him.  He couldn’t help but stare at the cover art.  It depicted a large T. Rex inside of a monster truck, with explosions in the background.  He would have never thought to pick up a movie with a cover like this on his own, but if both felinefine and Fiona sung its praises, it had to be an awesome movie.

“Anything else I can help you with?” she asked with a warm smile.

He shook his head, his cheeks burning.

“Thanks, but I think that’ll do it.”

“We’ll, if you’re ready, I can check you out… Er- I mean, I can ring you up now,” she said with a giggle. That little slip-up of hers made him even more flustered.

“O-Okay,” he stuttered, trying his hardest to get control of his voice again.  “Yeah, that’d be great, thanks.”

They walked together to the front of the store and she went back around the counter.  He passed the case back to her once she was at the register. Holding it, she turned to look at the wall behind her for the tape.  Rocko stood on his tip-toes to peer over the counter to see if he could help spot it, but instead found himself transfixed by her rear again.

“It’d be nice if my guys put movies back where they belong,” she muttered, placing a hand on her hip as she shook her head.  “Oh!  There it is.”

She bent down to grab the video from the bottom shelf, and Rocko could feel a lump forming in his throat. He swore he could hear the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.  He blinked several times and forced his gaze away from her ass just in time for her to stand up.  She stepped forward to the computer on the counter and hit a few buttons.  Rocko prepared his wallet and waited for his total, but it never came.  She simply handed over the rental case with the tape inside.

“Here you go!”

“Um… How much?”

She waved her hand at him.

“Don’t worry about it… Employee discount, cos we’re neighbors,” she said with a wink.  “Just bring it back within three days and enjoy it for me, okay?”

“Oh!  Um, thanks a lot, Fiona!”

“Don’t mention it,” she said as she leaned on the counter, giving him a clear view of her generous cleavage that peeked out of the unbuttoned placket of her top.  His palms were sweating so hard now that the case was beginning to slip out of his hands.  “You should stop by and say hi sometime, Rocko.”

“Oh… uh… sure.  Y-Yeah, I will,” Rocko managed to stammer.  He tried to avert his eyes so he wasn’t gawking, which led him to look beside her and notice a stack of internet CDs on the counter. They caught his eye and he pointed at them.  “Are those free?”

“Yep, take as many as you want,” she laughed, pushing them closer to him.  “Between you and me, I never pay for internet.”

Rocko grinned to himself and picked up one of the disks.

“Thank you so much for your help,” he said.

“Anytime,” she replied, straightening up.  “See ya around!”

“Y-Yeah, see ya…”

Rocko turned and walked out the store to his car.  His legs felt so shaky and his knees weak.  He melted into his seat and let out a huge sigh when he was in the safety of his car.  His heart was still beating fast and he felt like he was suffocating from the excitement of seeing his crush in person and having a whole conversation with her. This interaction only made things worse for him…  Not only was she a knockout, she was so friendly!  He never expected a girl as beautiful as her to be so down to earth!  His hands trembled as he started up his car.  What did she mean by ‘stop by and say hi?’ By her house or by the store?  Was she just saying that to be a good neighbor, or did she really want him to visit?

As he pulled out onto the street, he tried not to think too hard about what that might mean, but he couldn’t wipe the silly grin from his face.  Was today his lucky day?  Not only was he able to chat up felinefine first thing in the morning, but he had also gotten a chance to talk to his neighbor without making a complete fool of himself.  It was as though fate had been working overtime for him all day.  Maybe things were starting to look up after all.

It was mid-afternoon when he returned home.  After putting his groceries up, he walked past his computer to see if felinefine had returned yet, even though he knew she wouldn’t be back until way later. Upon seeing that she was still offline, he grabbed the tape he had rented, put it in the VCR, and settled on the couch with Spunky to watch it.

The first half of the film was pretty good.  It had quite a few funny parts, and the special effects were impressive.  The action really kicked up in the second half; there were plot twists that Rocko didn’t see coming that kept him on the edge of his seat.  He enjoyed it very much, and could definitely see why both Fiona and felinefine recommended it.  He couldn’t wait to tell them how much he liked it.

After the movie was over, he rewound it and put it back in the case.  As he wandered into the kitchen to make himself some dinner, he told himself he could return it on his way to work the next day.  He wondered if Fiona would be working when he stopped by. Maybe he could get another movie recommendation from felinefine tonight to give him a reason to go inside of the store instead of just dropping the tape in the drop box.  While he was making a sandwich and thinking about getting up the nerve to be a little bolder with Fiona the next time he saw her, he heard the unmistakable sound of a new chat.  Sandwich in hand, he all but rushed back to the computer and jumped into the seat.  His heart skipped a beat upon seeing a new direct message.

“home from work :-D u there?”

“wb ff! hru?”

“gr8! even better now that im all comfy & chatting w u~”

“hehe :) guess what?”

“wassup?”

“i watched t-wrecks today :)”

“RLY???? howd u like it???????”

Rocko began to type a response to tell her how much he enjoyed it, but then his phone began to ring. He watched in horror as his chat disconnected with an error message and he got kicked off the network.  A moment later, the phone rang again and he quickly answered it before the machine could pick it up.

“Hello?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Heya, Rock!” Heffer’s voice said on the other end.

“Heffer…” he grumbled in response.

“Uh-oh, you don’t sound so good.  What’s wrong?”

Rocko looked at his computer and took a deep breath.  It was ridiculous to get upset with his friend.  It wasn’t like he knew he was in the middle of something.  “Nothing.  I’m fine. Why did you call?”

“No reason, just hadn’t heard from you today.”

“Well, I’ve been… busy.”

He winced as he heard Heffer’s knowing laugh come through the phone.

“You’re still chatting, aren’t you?”

Rocko sighed and rubbed between his eyes. “Yes.”

“See?  I told you you’d like it!  Anything juicy happen yet?”

Rocko smiled to himself. He didn’t want to go into details of his chat history, but he did want to brag on himself.  “Well… I… I did talk to Fiona today…”

“What?” he heard Heffer exclaim.  “Really?  You did?”

“Yeah,” he said, his smile growing as he thought back on it.  “She works at the video store.”

“Oh yeah, she’s like the manager up there or something.”

“Wait…  You knew this?” Rocko asked.

“Yeah, of course.  I go rent movies from there all the time.”

“Oh… uh, yeah.  Well, anyway, she, um… she said I should stop by and say hi sometime.”

“Atta boy, Rock!” Heffer said.  “Sooo, are you gonna go over there after she gets off work or what?”

This question made Rocko laugh nervously.  “I, uh… I think I should talk to her a few more times before inviting myself over…”

“You’re not inviting yourself over.  Not if she said you should stop by.”

“Well…”  He tried to think of another excuse, but he knew that his reasons for hesitating to visit Fiona weren’t convincing.  Truth was, he was still just too darn shy around her.  “Maybe another night,” he ended up saying.  “After all, Miss felinefine is waiting for me to tell her how I liked the movie she suggested.”

“Uh-oooh!  D’ya got a new crush?”

“No, no.  I-It’s nothing like that,” stammered Rocko.  “We’re just… friends… Yeah.  We’re friends!  We have a lot in common.”

Hearty laughter was heard once again.

“Well, sorry to hold you up. I’ll free up your line, lover boy. Bye, Rock!”

“Bye, Heff.”

With that, Heffer hung up and left him alone with his thoughts.  Rocko’s mind was spinning as he finished eating his sandwich and reconnected to the internet.  He thought about what Heffer had said about having a new crush.  As he considered it, he wasn’t sure if it was a crush or not. He felt like he already knew her better than he knew Fiona, but he’d never seen her and didn’t know if he ever would.  He shook his head, banishing those confusing thoughts.  He’d worry about all that later.  For now, he wanted to spend the night talking to this mystery woman.

△ ▽ △

Rocko settled into a routine over the next few days.  He’d wake up in the morning and head downstairs to say good morning to felinefine. On days he had work, he’d talk to her until one of them had to leave, then get dressed and leave early enough to swing by the video store to drop off whatever movie he had rented at her suggestion. Some days, Fiona would be inside working, and she’d chat him up for a little bit before he had to get a move on to get to work himself.  She always seemed enthusiastic about the movies he rented.  He thought it was an odd coincidence that she’d seen and liked everything he picked up, even the less popular ones, but supposed that’s why she was so good at her job.  She was so friendly and warm each time he stopped by; he cursed himself for still being so awkward around her.  He could hardly string a sentence together when he was in her presence and could barely allow himself to look at her.  He wished he had just a crumb of the confidence in person that he had over the net.

When Rocko got home in the evenings, he’d make himself something to eat if he hadn’t picked up any food, then headed straight to the computer and stay there chatting with felinefine until she signed off late at night.  As weeks went on, he was burning through the free trial internet disks, but he always grabbed more when he visited Plenty-O-Flix.  He felt that surely Fiona thought he was suspicious for stocking up on them, but tried not to dwell on it.  She never questioned what he did on the world wide web and he never volunteered the information.

Spending every day talking to each other led Rocko to get more personal with felinefine.  Though they still hadn’t shared their real names with one another, he felt like he knew her better than he knew anyone.  She loved obscure, cult classic movies, and her suggestions were always on point.  She loved music almost as much as movies, and bragged about her tape collection and top-of-the-line stereo.  She seemed intelligent; she knew how to effectively defend and argue her point when debates arose in the main chat.  She had a great sense of humor and was quick-witted in her replies.  She was a great listener, and actually seemed interested when Rocko enthused about newest Really Really Big Man comics or explained competitive jack-hammering to her.

On top of it all, she was extremely flirty.  As their relationship, for lack of better words, progressed, her boldness did as well. They eventually IMed each other more often than they participated in the chat room, and she was not above making suggestive remarks when it was just the two of them, leaving him a flustered mess by the time he logged off for the night.  Usually, he just laughed it off and replied with some sort of jokey, safe response just in case he was misconstruing her words.  This all changed one night when he logged on after having a few drinks with Heffer and Filbert.  

The entire time he was out, Rocko tried to participate, but his brain was focused on getting home and online.  He didn’t bring it up out of fear of his friends thinking he was addicted to it now, whether or not it was true.  The moment he got home and changed into something more comfortable, he settled into his desk chair.

“u on ff?” he asked the moment he signed in.

“ofc! hows my wallababe?”

“gr8 :D just a little buzzed tbh hehe”

“orly? :-3c has someone been drinking?”

“just a few... :P”

“lol I might pour myself sum wine 2... sounds good rn
idk abt u but i get soooo horny when i drink”

Rocko blinked rapidly, taking a moment to process the blunt response from felinefine in his tipsy state. The wallaby was completely speechless for a moment as all the blood seemingly left his brain and rushed to his crotch.  He rubbed his eyes and re-read the message, making sure he didn’t misread it.  Just seeing the word ‘horny’ made his cock throb and his stomach flutter.  He had no idea how to reply.  His hand left the keyboard and reached down, rubbing himself through his briefs.  A low moan escaped his throat.  

Rocko wasn’t a virgin, and he was by no means sheltered.  This wasn’t even his first foray into getting dirty anonymously with strangers, as he did (very briefly) work for a hotline…  Despite all this, she had a way of making him feel so inexperienced.  He swore he had never been more turned-on in his entire life, and over what?  Just a little bit of flirting?  She made everything seem so much more appealing.

He stared at the screen, unable to respond, but he knew he had to say something or else she’d think he wasn’t interested when he very much was.  But what do you say to that?  It was almost as if felinefine was goading him to be as naughty as her.  Times like this, he almost wished he could ask Heffer for advice, but he didn’t want his friend knowing how risqué his messages had become and getting all in his business.  His fingers hovered above the keys, and another message popped up.

“whats wrong? kitty got your tongue?”

He could hardly contain himself any longer, and his cock was begging to be stroked.  He typed quickly, hoping to keep the conversation going with some witty banter before he lost his nerve.  He sent two messages without a second thought.

“wouldnt mind that at all...
btw remind me 2 buy u a drink if we ever meet up :P”

He grinned triumphantly at his reply before bringing his hand back down to his lap and idly touching himself.

“LMTO u better!
ngl its been soooo long since i got laid :-/”

Rocko let out a low whine at this last message and read it over again and again.  He was so hard it hurt, and his breath caught at the thought of being there to help break each other’s dry spells.  For some reason, he found himself wanting more details.

“how long?” he asked.

“since last summer :-P” she replied.

“thats a shame”

“yeah.. hbu big guy?”

Rocko gulped at the question.  It had been way longer than that since the last time he slept with someone.  In his inebriated state, he tried to remember exactly when that was, but his brain was all fuzzy.

“few years idr exactly how long”

“damn rly? :-0”

This response made him groan out in both shame and frustration.  Heffer was right…  He desperately needed to get laid.  He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the mood she had set, but his inhibitions were lowered and he found himself venting this frustration.

“yeah if i wasnt so bloody shy i mght could cop a root every now n then”

He felt conflicted after sending that.  On one hand, it felt good to get that off his chest…  On the other, he felt silly and pathetic for complaining about it to her. If it bothered her, she didn’t show it. The next message from her didn’t admonish him.

“aww r u shy?? i would have never guessed :-P u always seem so confident when we chat”

“well its tru the whole reason im on here is cuz my mate wants me 2 get over it :/”

“personally i LUV it when guys r shy... its sooooo cute~”

Rocko felt the heat rising to his cheeks again, but not out of embarrassment this time.  He never stopped to consider that someone could find that kind of behavior attractive.

“cute?”

“yea tbh makes me want 2 take them home n see how hard i can make them blush~”

Rocko was usually a reserved person who kept his mouth shut and minded his own business.  But he was also drunk, horny, and feeling a little more daring thanks to her influence.  Her playfulness brought out the worst in him.  He found himself mirroring her behavior and playing into it.

“well ur makin me blush rn hehe” he admitted to her.  “i can only imagine how much redder id be if we were together”

“i bet :-) are u hard 2?”

He sputtered.  He couldn’t deny that he was.  He wasn’t sure if it was because of her or because he had all but confessed that he liked being teased, but he couldn’t help but respond with the truth.  In the back of his mind, he kind of hoped it’d get some more teasing out of her.

“very”

“& ur touchin urself rn arent u???”

Rocko felt like his heart was beating out of his chest.  Why was her dirty talk so hot?  Just imagining those words in a cutesy, innocent-sounding little teasing voice make him want to explode.  It was difficult to answer with one hand, but he managed to do so.

“ye s”

“good boy :-)”

He bit his lip and pressed his thumb over the slit of his cock, choking back a moan as it throbbed and threatened to spew in his grip.  Tears pricked his eyes as slumped forward and his head dropped to the desktop.  He was so horny it hurt.

“Oh, blazes...” he groaned through gritted teeth.  He tugged at his cock and started to rub it with his other hand as well.  She was pressing buttons he didn’t even know he had. He couldn’t remember the last time something got under his skin this bad.  The sound of another message coming through had him lifting his swimming head.

“c this is why i luuuv shy guys <3 i just knowww ur a mess rn~”

She was right; she was so right.  With a few words, she’d turned him into a flustered, randy mess.  The idea that she was well aware of the state he was in made his cock twitch.  He huffed, leaning back in his chair as he pumped himself harder and faster.  

“Fe-... Fe-...” he panted out, a name on the tip of his tongue as he continued to stroke himself furiously.  The wallaby closed his eyes tight.  His mind wanted to envision the woman who had done this to him, but instead, his brain defaulted to a familiar face.  Even after all this, he couldn’t get his mind off his darn neighbor.

“Fe-... Ooh… Oh, Fi-...” he whispered again.  His voice thick was with desire, and his pitch an octave higher as he barely held himself together.  His breathing was labored and deep as he came close to blowing his load.  He could only imagine how he looked, furiously wanking while sprawled out on his computer chair.  A little voice in the back of his head teased him for being so dirty, and his hips bucked in response.

“Oh… Ah, F-... Fio-...” he whimpered out.  “Fiona… Fiona!”

The last time her name passed his lips, he lost control.  He let go with one final thrust into his fist, blasting ropes of cum across his lap and chest.  He continued slurring her name as he came.

Rocko slumped back in his chair and moaned softly.  As the climax ebbed away, he felt terrible that Fiona got the credit that felinefine deserved for giving him the best orgasm of his life, but his guilt was dulled by the lingering alcohol in his system and the endorphins that coursed through him.  He took a few minutes to catch his breath and clear his mind, trying to compose himself before continuing with his evening.  He weakly lifted and stared at his hand for a moment, frowning at the fact it was trembling and covered in his spunk.  When he looked down, he couldn’t help but notice it was everywhere.  He was both impressed and appalled that a little wallaby like him could make such a mess by himself.  With a grimace, he wiped his hand on his tank top before sitting up.  He’d have to clean himself up before the cum dried on his fur, but he couldn’t disappear without letting her know that he wasn’t ignoring her.

“u were rught” he typed with still-shaking hands.

“hah! knew it!!!!  did u cum for me~?”

He groaned again, that question sending another jolt right down to his groin.

“i did... ill have 2 repay u 4 taht 1”

“wat a gentleman! dw tho u werent the only 1 who had their fun ;-)”

He wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but he wasn’t fast enough in his response.  

“nighty nite wb <3 ttyt”

“gnite ff”

Rocko peeled himself off his computer chair and stood on unsteady legs.  Thankfully, it looked like all the mess landed on him and not everywhere else.  He wobbled over to the bathroom, stripped out of his ruined clothes, letting them fall to the tile as he hopped in the shower.  His head pounded as he stood there, enjoying the water cascade over him before reaching for a rag.  As he began to scrub his fur and process his evening, he looked down at himself.  He had been so distracted with his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed it until now— he was hard again.

“Not again,” he muttered to himself.  He was never this raring to go, but to his credit, he was never subject to these kinds of things either.  He resigned to taking care of himself once more; his mind revisiting that little fantasy about getting relentlessly teased for being so bashful.  Because of this, his shower lasted a little longer than intended.  His orgasm was underwhelming compared to the one he had earlier, but frankly, he was too exhausted to care.

Rocko sighed after he was done, stepping out with a towel wrapped around his waist and making his way upstairs to the bedroom.  He didn’t even bother with night clothes again as he crashed on his bed.  His brain swirled as he grew drowsy.  For a faceless woman, Rocko had to admit he found himself rather aroused by felinefine.  She consumed his thoughts the rest of that night.  It wasn’t just the teasing; all the attention she gave him really turned him on.  He didn’t think he could be so attached to someone he didn’t actually know, but he was, and the more they talked to each other, the closer he felt to her.  He only wished he had a face to match his new obsession.  Maybe if he ever saw her, he’d quit thinking about Fiona for good, but until then, it seemed like he was destined to be haunted by both women at once…

△ ▽ △

Rocko thought he’d be embarrassed when he sobered up the next day.  A part of him told himself that logging in after the night before would be awkward, but he wasn’t nearly as ashamed as he expected he’d be.  He wasn’t sure if it was because he had a slight hangover or just had that much pent-up sexual tension that he’d been neglecting, but honestly, he only found himself wanting more.  With his head pounding from the night before, he threw on the bare minimum so he could walk downstairs to grab some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.  After brushing his teeth, he headed towards the computer.  He wondered how a night like the night before would change felinefine’s interactions with him.  He hoped things remained friendly.  Just the thought of things being awkward now crushed him.

The moment he went to sit, he heard a knock at the door.  With a huff, he dragged himself to answer it.  He was half-expecting Heffer, since the steer knew he was off work, but was in for a surprise when he peeked out and saw a lynx instead.

“Good morning!” Fiona chirped when the door cracked open.

Rocko quickly pulled his robe closed, hoping she didn’t have a chance to see his boxers and bare chest underneath, before pushing the door open a little wider.

“Uh… Hi, F-Fiona...” he said, holding his arms firmly in front of his chest.

Her name felt so weird leaving his mouth after moaning it the night before.  He had to suppress the guilt he felt when he remembered what he’d done.

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t wake you, did I?” she asked with a slight frown.

“Oh, no…  You didn’t,” said Rocko.  “Was there something I could do for you?”

“Well, this is like… Super embarrassing,” she started, scratching the back of her head. “But… Do you have water this morning?”

She sounded so cute and shy that Rocko’s heart skipped a beat.  He nodded affirmatively.

“That’s good to hear. Mine is out.  Didn’t know if it was just me or the whole neighborhood,” she said, followed by a small laugh.  “I’ve been arguing with the water company all morning and they’re finally sending someone out.  But it’s going to be a while, and I really need to be getting ready for work soon. Would you, uh…  Do you mind if I use your shower?”

Rocko’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.  Fiona wanted to use his shower?  The thought that she came to him to ask this made him flustered, but he couldn’t deny he was also flattered.  He told himself it was nothing personal, that his house was the most convenient for her, but it didn’t change his opinion of the situation.

“I mean, I totally get it if you’re not cool with it,” she continued when she didn’t get an immediate answer.  “I know we don’t know each other very well, and I’ve never been over so it’s kinda a weird thing to ask…”

“No, no,” he said, snapping out of his daze.  “No, you’re more than welcome to my shower!  That’s what neighbors are for!  But, uh… do you mind giving me a moment to tidy up? I, um…  I don’t want to gross you out.  I’m not used to having gi-, er… guests over…  Other than my mates.”

She beamed.

“Not at all!  I need to go grab my stuff anyway.  Should I come back in like thirty minutes?”

“It shouldn’t take me that long,” he said.  “Just five or ten minutes, okay?”

“Sure thing!” she said. “Thanks so much!  I owe you big time!”

Rocko let out a timid chuckle and waved her off, causing her to giggle.

“Be right back!” she told him, then turned around to walk back over to her house.  He nodded and kept his composure until the door was shut, then darted towards his bathroom in a panic.

“Oh, cobblers!  First time I have a girl over and it’s a mess in here, Spunky!” he said to his dog while scooping his dirty clothes from the night before up off the floor.  “Ooh! And after everything last night!”

He went to throw his laundry in his hamper, but held onto them a moment.  He didn’t want to risk her seeing that at all.  He decided to throw the clothes into the hamper after all, but then carry it upstairs so she didn’t have to see his dirty clothes.  He next ran over to his computer, making certain there was no mess left over from the night before that he may have been too buzzed to notice.  Everything looked fine over there, except the fact that his filthy chat was still pulled up. He pressed the power button for the monitor, cutting off the screen before rushing back upstairs to put on a clean shirt so he wouldn’t be walking around in his underwear with a guest over. For the remainder of the time, he ran around in a circle, scooping up trash and tiding as quickly as he could.

When he heard another knock, he took a deep breath to settle his nerves before opening the door.  As he expected, there was Fiona standing on his doorstep again, but with all her things wrapped in a towel this time.  He stepped aside, holding the door open for her as she walked inside.

“Wow,” she said, glancing around as she entered his home.  “Nice place, Rock.”

“Oh, you think?  Heh heh, thanks,” he said.  He hoped the sweat that he broke wasn’t as obvious as it felt.  “Um, bathroom’s right over here.”

He walked her over to his bathroom, opening the door for her.

“Was there anything you needed?” he asked.  “Soap? Washrag?”

“Nope, I think I brought everything with me,” she said, holding up the bundle of things she had in the towel. “Thank you again.”

Rocko nodded and smiled awkwardly at her.  “Should be plenty of hot water.”

“Thanks,” she said.  “I’ll try not to use it all.”

He laughed, then realized he was blocking the doorway of the bathroom, making it so she was unable to close the door.

“Well, I… I’ll just be in the kitchen,” he said as he slowly guided himself away.  “Did you have breakfast?”

She shook her head no.

“Could I get you something? Coffee?  Toast?  Cereal?”

“Ooh, coffee would be great, if you don’t mind,” she said.

“Not at all,” Rocko replied. “I… I’ll let you get on with it then…”

She giggled, then stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind herself.

Rocko walked into the kitchen to start the coffee maker.  When he heard the shower, he walked over to his computer.  He wanted to at least say good morning to felinefine so she didn’t think he was avoiding her.  Much to his dismay, she was not online when he turned on the monitor.  He sent her a message anyway, letting her know he was alive even if his hangover was kicking his tail, before cutting off the screen again and walking to sit on his couch.  He twiddled his thumbs as he waited for Fiona to finish up.  In the back of his mind, he acknowledged that the most attractive woman he knew was naked inside of his house.  Heat rose to his cheeks and he cursed himself for having that thought.  He scrubbed his face and tried to regulate his breathing as he attempted to think of things that would prevent him from getting too excited.  He was so distracted by this that he didn’t notice that the sound of the shower stopped and the bathroom door creaked open.

“Hey, Rocko?” Fiona called out.

He snapped to attention and looked over, seeing that she was wrapped in a towel peeking out of the bathroom.

“Y-Yes, Fiona?”

“Hey, um…  I didn’t… drop something on the way in…  Did I?” she timidly asked.

“Drop… something?”

“Yeah… like something… pink?”

Rocko’s eyes scanned the living room.  “Um, no. I don’t see anything… What was it?”

“It was, um…” she started, turning pink herself.  Just then, Rocko noticed his dog’s tail peeking out from behind the couch.

“Oh!  Maybe Spunky has it,” he said before she finished, walking over to scoop his dog up.  Spunky indeed had something in his mouth, and it was pink.  Rocko tugged it, but Spunky wouldn’t let go.  “C’mon, Spunky!  Give me that! It’s not yours!”

Spunky wagged his tail, but didn’t give up his prize.

“Sorry,” Rocko said, glancing over at Fiona and offering an apologetic smile.  “He’s a little stubborn…  Spunky!  Let it go!”

Rocko didn’t want to rip whatever it was, so he had to fight to get Spunky to open his mouth and drop it. After some effort on his part, his dog finally unclenched his jaw and Rocko snatched the fabric from him. Color drained from his face when he noticed how silky the object was… and the black lace trim of it.

“Oh, blazes!” he exclaimed upon realizing he had a pair of Fiona’s panties in his hand.  He dropped them in shock, but had to hold Spunky back as he scooped them up again.  “I-I… I, uh…”

“Sorry, Rocko!  They’re clean, I promise!”

“No, it’s… I… It’s nothing…” He quickly walked over to Fiona and handed them to her, without looking into her eye.  “I’m so sorry…  I… I can buy you new ones… I-I mean… give you the money for a new pair…”

“No, no!  It’s okay!” she assured him, taking the underwear from him. If he looked up, he’d realize she was just as mortified as him.  She quickly closed the door, but continued talking to him from behind it.  “Gosh, this is so embarrassing!  I’m so sorry you had to see them, Rock…”

“It’s okay,” he assured her with a soft laugh.  “Nothing I’ve never seen before.”

“Right, I guess so,” he heard her say.  “You really don’t have to worry about replacing them.  They weren’t expensive anyway.”

Her words didn’t make him any less humiliated that his dog had chewed up her underwear...  Or that he had touched them…  Or that she was now putting them on her body anyway.  He could just picture her perfect ass in nothing but those skimpy panties.  He wondered if her bra matched.  It’d be a shame if she had a cute little matching set that she couldn’t wear together anymore.

“They’re, uh… Still wearable?” he asked.  

“Yeah, they’re fine enough for me to walk back to my house to change,” she assured him with a small giggle.  A moment later, the door opened.  She had on a baggy t-shirt, which hung down to her knees so he didn’t see what was beneath it.  Her hair looked even longer when wet.  Rocko took in her appearance in silence, his eyes trying not to linger on her body but failing.  He didn’t know how seeing her in that old, loose shirt was a million times hotter than all the times he had seen her in the most revealing outfits.  He knew the image would stick with him far after she left. The fresh, clean smell of her shampoo wafted over to him as she stood in front of him.  “Thanks again.  I was so worried I’d have to be all gross all day.”

“‘S no problem…  Did you still want that coffee?” he said, tapping his fingers together while still averting his gaze.

“Oh, yeah!  That’d be great, thanks,” she said.  

With a nod, Rocko walked towards the kitchen and he could feel her walking along behind him.  He tried his best to keep from breathing too heavily, not wanting to scare her off.  “Sugar?” he asked, voice strained.  “Cream?”

“You don’t have to bother. I like it black,” she said.

He was surprised to hear that from her; expecting her to lean more towards sweet than bitter.  It didn’t bother him thought, it just made it less likely for him to screw it up.  He poured the two cups of coffee, handing one to her.  She sat her things down to accept it, and he waited for her to take a sip before speaking.  “Good enough?”

“Perfect,” she replied.

He smiled and nodded before drinking his coffee too.  Not many words were exchanged as the two stood there, drinking their coffee. Despite the silence it felt… nice. Natural.  Comfortable.  Oddly domestic, even.  He watched her over the rim of his cup as she quietly sipped, trying not to make his observation of her obvious.  He wondered what was going on in her mind.  Despite what had to be a frustrating morning for her, she looked happy. In the back of his thoughts, he hoped she was enjoying his company as much as he enjoyed hers.  Their eyes met for a moment, but he quickly looked away. He felt a familiar heat rise to his cheeks and he sighed inwardly.

“Oh, shoot,” she said, glancing at the clock on his wall.  “I should get going, Rock.  I’ve got to finish getting ready for work.”

She sat her almost-empty mug on the counter, then completely caught him off guard by wrapping her arms around him.  Due to the difference in height, she had bent down to embrace him, causing her soft breasts to push against his face.  He was frozen in place for a moment before hugging her back.  He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the sensation, but unable to resist melting in her embrace.

“Thanks again for everything this morning!” she said.

“Anytime,” he said as best as he could with his face pressed against her chest.

“It’s on me next time you come by the video store!”

All too soon, she pulled back, patting his shoulder before picking up her things.

“Have a nice day!” Fiona said cheerfully, waving goodbye to him while walking towards the door.

Rocko couldn’t speak. He remained glued in place, woozy from the physical contact, grinning like a fool as he waved back at her.  His heart was racing and he couldn’t believe his fortune.  Hugging her was even more amazing than he could have ever imagined.  Her fur was just as soft as he pictured it; and he just knew it’d be fluffier when she was completely dry.  He could practically feel the little hearts swirling around him. This blissful trance was short lived when she opened the door to leave.

“Oh!  Hey, Heffer!”

Those imaginary heart bubbles popped at the sound of his friend’s name.  His eyes widened when he saw Heffer standing in the doorway as Fiona went to leave.

“Whoa!  Hey there, Fiona!  Where are you off to?” the steer asked her.

“I’ve gotta get to work pretty soon,” she said.  “We should catch up later!”

“Sure thing!  See ya!” he said with a wave before closing the door behind her.  The moment the door was shut, he turned around to look at Rocko.  His grin spread across his face, causing the wallaby to begin frantically shaking his head.

“No, no!  I know what you’re thinking, Heff!” Rocko started, waving his hands in front of him.  “It wasn’t what it looked like!”

“Oh yeah?” Heffer replied. “Then what was it?”

“She came over for a shower,” he said.  Heffer bit his lip, trying his hardest not to crack up as Rocko realized that what he just said sounded even worse than what anyone could have assumed.  “No!  Not like... with me!  Her water is out!”

Heffer burst out laughing, slapping his friend on the back.  Rocko flushed scarlet and buried his face in his hands.

“Heeheehee!  That’s a hoot!  Oh man, oh man!  She’s totally into you, Rock!”

“I-I don’t know about that,” he stammered.

“Oh, c’mon!” Heffer said, poking fun at him.  “Did you see the way she looked when she left?”

Rocko stared at his friend and blinked.  “What do you mean?”

“Come on, buddy,” Heffer said.  “You know what I’m talking about.”

Rocko’s face blanked. He shook his head, completely oblivious to what Heffer was referring to.

“Dude, there was this look on her face!” he insisted.  “It was so obvious!”

“Look…?  What kind of look?” Rocko bashfully asked.

“She was…  Well…  I don’t know how else to put it,” Heffer said, rubbing his chin as he considered his words.  “She was just…  Ooh!”

“Good ‘ooh’ or bad ‘ooh?’”

“Like a satisfied ooh!”

Rocko was trying not to blush thinking about it.  “… Really?”

“Yeah, dude!  She was practically glowing when she skipped out of here!” Heffer told him excitedly.  “I dunno what you did, but she liked it.”

Rocko walked over to the couch and slumped onto it.  Everything was getting so complicated.  Now he had very real infatuations with not one, but two incredible women.  Though he’d never seen her and wasn’t sure if he ever would, Rocko felt like he’d never find someone he clicked with as much as he did with felinefine.  The way she made him feel was indescribable, and he didn’t think he was imagining her interest in him.  Whether the conversations were silly, serious, or sultry, they were never dull. As ridiculous as it sounded, he could honestly see her being his soul mate.  And Fiona…  He still didn’t know her well enough to know if he was projecting his online friend’s personality onto her or if they were that similar, but he did know she was very kind and so beautiful it was intimidating!  When she hugged him, he felt on top of the world.  He couldn’t help but always compare one with the other. If the two ladies were combined, she would be the perfect woman, no contest.

“Heff, I dunno what to do…”

“What’s wrong, bud?”

While staring up at the ceiling, he swallowed.  He tried to think of the words to best explain his conundrum.

“Well, I think the chatroom worked,” he started.  “But instead of getting over Fiona, I just fell for another girl too.  And they’re both so perfect, I’m really torn between them.”

“Yeah?  So, you like them both equally?” Heffer asked.

Rocko seriously pondered the question before answering.

“I do,” he confirmed. “I thought I’d drop everything for Fiona, but when she was over, I still wanted to check in on the one I chat with… And when I’m chatting with her, I end up imagining Fiona.  It has me wondering if my crush on Fiona is shallow and the other is real because I feel a real connection without having seen her. But I don’t think it is…  And I want something… physical too.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask for both in a partner, right?”

Heffer sympathetically laughed at the poor wallaby’s predicament and rubbed his shoulder.

“Don’t sweat it, man,” he said.  “Just keep doing what you’re doing and see which one falls in your lap first.”

“Huh?”  Rocko lifted his head, looking over at his friend confused.

“If it’s meant to be, one of them is bound to confess their love eventually, right?” the steer clarified. “Just wait for them to make the decision for you.”

“That’s true,” Rocko agreed. It made sense.  If he couldn’t decide, he’d just let fate do it for him. “I guess I should just relax and let them happen naturally.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Heffer said.  “So, how ‘bout we get some brunch!  I’m starving!”

△ ▽ △

Rocko hadn’t heard from felinefine all day.  She never responded to his message from earlier that morning, and by the time he was done hanging out with Heffer later that afternoon, she still wasn’t online. It seemed like his fears were confirmed— his behavior the night before scared her away.  He reasoned to himself that he was overreacting, that she definitely started and escalated things, but still, he couldn’t think of any other reason why she would be offline.  After much internal debate, he sent another message.  It was short and simple:

“sorry abt last nite. got carried away. hope i didnt make things weird”

He didn’t expect a reply, as she was still offline, but he wanted to at least let her know that he was apologetic.  Several hours later, he heard the sound of a new chat while he was mindlessly flipping through channels. He stopped what he was doing to check his computer.

“aaa sorry for the l8 response! my day was soooo busy! :’-( im here now tho!!”

It was such a relief to see a response from her.  He began to type something, but her next message came through before he could complete a thought.

“& btw? last nite was so hot... i dreamt abt u afterwards <3”

The guilt that plagued him all day was gone, replaced now with excitement that she was back talking to him.

“u did? :0”

“yea ;-) ngl rly made a rough day bearable
dw im always up 2 do it again if u r”

That caught his attention. He read her message several times to let it sink in that she was more than okay with everything that happened the night before.  It thrilled him that she enjoyed herself as much as he did.  He wanted to hear more about this dream, but didn’t want to gloss over the fact that she had a rough day.

“sorry 2 hear abt ur day... did u wanna talk abt it?”

“nahh. its all good now that im talkin 2 u again”

“did u wanna talk abt that dream instead? ;)” he asked.

He didn’t receive an immediate response, but the one he eventually did receive was well worth the wait.

“long story short u made me pay for all my teasaing! the only thing hotter than a bashful guy is when he gets confident & aggressive! i def wouldnt mind payback like that ;-)
i dunno y i feel like u culd rly flip that switch & get a lil dominate”

Rocko’s heart skipped a beat.  He was so stunned by her admission that he didn’t immediately respond.  He just stared at his screen, dumbfounded.  He stirred at the idea of being dominant. Before her, he never really thought about those kinds of dynamics.  Now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  He felt a surge of excitement course through his veins.  

As he was thinking about it, he found himself curious about her dream, but not about the plot of it. He wondered how she pictured him. They’d never shared pictures, and he never described himself.  What did he look like in her fantasies?  Did she imagine him taller than he really was?  Would she be disappointed if she knew the truth?  From what he knew about her, she’d honestly probably find it more attractive.  She seemed to have different standards than most.

“sound like a sexy dream hehe i think im naturally submissive but id do whatever 2 please u,” he typed.

“oh im sure u would” she replied.  This line had him blushing.  He didn’t care how eager he looked at this point.  He had it bad for her and he didn’t mind if she knew it.

“sooo im curious”

“abt what?”

“r u kinky? :-P”

He sucked in a breath at the question.  Was he kinky? He didn’t really think so. He was a little more open minded than most, but he definitely wasn’t the type of person who experimented with things like that on his own.  Though, he felt like with the right partner, he’d be far more likely to enjoy things that were a little taboo.

“i dont think i am... but im learnin alot abt myself the more i talk 2 u ;)
i imagine u r?”

The conversation continued for some time longer.  While Rocko had watched a little softcore every so often and maybe even had a secret stash of magazines, he had never really delved into any sort of specific kinks. Unsurprising to him, he learned she was into all sorts of stuff.  She did give him some recommendations, but he could not see himself marching into Plenty-O-Flix and renting pornography from his neighbor.  He didn’t want Fiona getting the wrong idea about him, especially when it seemed like she was getting comfortable around him.

They continued chatting throughout the rest of the evening.  While things didn’t get as steamy as they did before, Rocko did find himself feeling very aroused by the end of the night.  As he settled down, he thought once again about his predicament from earlier.  Fiona or felinefine…  Felinefine or Fiona…  Would he actually end up with either woman?  Would either of them make a move?  Based on the trajectory of their conversations, it seemed like felinefine may be the one who would propose a relationship first… and he was right.

It was only natural that they would eventually get on the topic of relationships after talking about almost everything else with one another.  Though surprisingly, the topic arose the next day when while talking about family.  After logging off abruptly and being missing for many hours, Rocko explained when he returned that his parents had called and his mother always wanted to talk for hours to catch up since they never got to see each other.  This led to felinefine asking where he was from, and he admitted he was originally from Australia.  He didn’t want to bore her with the details, but she pried for more— what part, how long he’d been living in America, and what convinced him to emigrate. She then asked one question that seemed innocent enough, but had him walking right into a conversation he would have never imagined he’d have with a stranger mere weeks before…

“so... u live alone?”

“just me and my dog”

“no s/o?”

It took him a moment to remember that s/o meant significant other.

“nope im single”

“rly?? ur such a catch! id kill 4 a bf like u”

He felt himself blushing again.  Did she really mean that?  There was a momentary pause before Rocko brought himself to answer.

“oh my haha ty”

“its ok <3 i am 2”

His brows furrowed as he read then re-read that message.  Surely, she couldn’t be saying she was single too…  Right?  If she was even half as interesting and charming in real life as she was online, he felt she’d still have to be fighting them off.  He had to clarify, because he just couldn’t believe it.

“ur single??”

“mhm”

“as cool as u r im sure u have ur pick of men”

“i wish lol
i mean like plenty of guys hmu at work... but the one guy ive been throwing myself at wont bite lol :-P”

Rocko stiffened in his seat. He felt a little crushed that she had her eye on someone, to be honest.  He knew he shouldn’t take it personally.  It wasn’t like they actually knew each other, but still…  He felt like he had a real connection with her.  Despite this, he considered her a friend, and as a friend, he wanted to support her.  His next words definitely sounded rich coming from him of all people, but he couldn’t help but say it.

“have u told him?”

“not outright no lol”

“i think u should try to tell him”

“so qq- as a guy, if a girl liked u.. u wouldnt mind if she made the 1st move?”

Rocko blushed hard as he considered her question.  He could understand the reasoning behind inquiry; some guys were bothered by things like that.  He was not one of those guys.  He’d be flattered if a girl made the first move with him.  He thought about how he’d feel if Fiona told him and it made him feel all fuzzy.  He’d probably melt from being so ecstatic.

“i cant speak 4 all guys...” he began typing.  “but id be so happy to have some1 interested in me i wouldnt care haha”

“interesting.. :-3c”

This message was promptly followed by another.

“hbu? r u crushin on ne1?”

He inhaled deeply at this. Did he tell her about how he was too shy to confess to Fiona?  Or admit to her that he had developed feelings for her?  He decided to be honest, but not to elaborate.  A sole “yes” was all he sent.

“and have u told them?”

“no i havent”

“y not?”

He groaned, dragging his hands down his face.  He should have known that he wouldn’t get off so easily.

“i dunno if she likes me 2”

“well u wont kno til u ask ;-)”

“yea ur rite”

Rocko didn’t know how to feel about getting his own advice suggested back to him, but she was right. Maybe it was time to finally tell Fiona how he felt, especially if felinefine had her eyes on someone else. Still, the idea of telling someone that he cared about them, that he was attracted to them, was terrifying.

“prob a weird time to bring this up but ive been meaning 2 ask- asl?”

Rocko scratched his head. He tried to make sense of the acronym, but he couldn’t figure it out.

“sorry still kinda new 2 this wym?”

“mb.. age sex location?”

He stared at the question for several seconds.  The cursor was blinking at him impatiently for a reply, but he didn’t know what to say.

“btw dont feel like u have to respond if u dont want 2 im just curious :-P”

Did he tell the truth? Call him foolish, but he trusted her, so he went for it.  They’d been talking long enough that he didn’t feel like it was worth hiding any longer.

“23 male o’town”

She responded immediately.

“shut up!!!! fr?????”

“???”

“im from otown 2!”

His jaw dropped to the desk. Surely, she had to be pulling his leg. What were the odds that they were in the same city?

“r u really?????”

“kinda. im not *from* here but i moved here not 2 long ago.”

Rocko felt dizzy.  He could not believe this was happening. The girl he’d spent so much time talking to lived in the same town as him?  He wondered if maybe he’d seen her around before.  A shiver ran up his spine.  His eyes darted back and forth between the messages.  It felt like a dream.  He tried to calm himself, thinking that he needed to compose a proper response to send.  His mind went blank for a moment, and then suddenly, an idea came to him.

“oh cool do u like it here?”

It was safe.  It acknowledged what she said without making himself look like a creep.

“its ok but i dont rly know any1. all i do is work and chat online :-P itd be nice to have some1 to hang out w around here ;-)”

His mind went blank for a moment, then suddenly, he had a spark of hope.  She sounded lonely… And she couldn’t have lived too far from him if she was in O’Town too…

“wanna meet up?”

His finger hovered over the enter key as he hesitated.  Was it too forward?  Perhaps… but it was worth offering.  It wasn’t like he was propositioning anything dirty.  She didn’t have any friends in town, after all.  He was just trying to be friendly.  After mustering all his courage, he clicked send.  Immediately after doing so, he covered his eyes with his hands, wincing until he heard another blip of a new message.  One at a time, he pried his eyes open to read her response.

“yes!!!! like when?”

She wanted to meet up! He was finally going to meet this mystery woman who had been haunting his dreams!  He wanted to meet her as soon as possible.  Honestly, he’d drive out to wherever she was tonight if she just said the word.  However, he didn’t want to come on too strong.  He tried to stay cool and casual, and typed out: “how about tomorrow night after work? like 8 pm?”

Rocko could barely hold himself together as he sat there waiting for her to confirm.  Would she agree?  Was she serious?  Rocko’s heart pounded loudly in his chest.  He began to feel faint.

“where do u wanna meet?” was the message that finally came from her.

“somewhere public at first if you dont mind lol” came up immediately after that.

Rocko sighed with relief. This was good news!  He was more than willing to meet up with her somewhere public, just to be safe.  He agreed that if he were to meet a stranger online, it should probably be someplace where people were around.  He thought that a mall or a restaurant or someplace similar would work well enough, but wanted her to be comfortable, so he offered to let her pick.

“sure do u have any place in mind?”

“café chameleon?”

The name sounded familiar, and it took him a moment to realize it was the Chameleon Brothers’ café that he had only been to once or twice.  That place was crawling with beatniks and hipsters.  It was an artsy type place where he stuck out like a sore thumb.  He felt a little intimidated by the fact that felinefine suggested it.  If she was a patron there, he considered that she must be pretty hip herself.  He began to feel a little nervous about meeting and disappointing her.  His hands trembled slightly as he typed out his reply.

“yeah i think thatll be fine…”

“yay! im sooooo excited to finally meet you irl~! :-D”

He could barely contain his own excitement.  It was surreal to think that this was actually going to be happening.  There was just one thing— he didn’t know what to look for.  He didn’t know the first thing about her appearance.

“wait how will we know each other?”

“i always sit in the corner. just look for red hair and ill wear a yellow shirt
if that doesnt work, ill just say my name”

Rocko’s grin spread from ear to ear.  She was a redhead too?  He had been trying not to imagine his neighbor when he flirted with felinefine, but this made it even more difficult.  Until he saw her in person, it seemed like he was just going to continue picturing her as Fiona.

“perfect i <3 redheads!” he typed with a goofy smile.

“ur a wallaby rite? or is that just a screen name?”

He cocked his head to the side at that message.  At first, it seemed like an odd question, but then he supposed she just wanted to know what to look out for tomorrow.

“no im really a wallaby”

“all the wallabys ive ever met were suuuper cute <3 i bet ur no exception~”

Rocko’s heart began to beat faster.  She liked wallabies?  She knew what wallabies were?  Most people in O’Town mistaked him a kangaroo or a beaver or something.  The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he had run into her before.  As far as he knew, he was the only wallaby in O’Town.  He couldn’t help but get a bit of an inflated ego at the idea that maybe she had seen him before and found him attractive.  Even if she hadn’t seen him before, he was a rather average wallaby, so she shouldn’t be too disappointed by his looks.  He was even more excited than ever to meet up with her now.

“hehe guess you’ll find out tomorrow nite!”

“im so excited!  i shuld get sum beauty sleep 2 prepare <3 LOL nn!!”

“gn ff!!! cya 2moro!”

He glanced at the clock after typing this.  He had practically a whole day to psyche himself up.  The moment he saw her go offline, he disconnected the internet and reached for his phone.  He was so ecstatic that he had to tell someone.  He dialed up his best friend and bounced in his seat as he waited for an answer.

“Hullo?” said the familiar voice of the steer.

“Heffer!” Rocko said, voice full of excitement.

“Whoa, what’s up, Rock?”

“Heff!  I-I… I have a date!”

“What?” Heffer exclaimed. “Who?  When?  I need the details!”

“Felinefine!” he said. “Er… The girl I’ve been chatting with! She’s from O’Town!  We’re meeting up tomorrow!”

“O’Town?  Oh, man!  Really? What are the odds?”

“And... And she said she likes wallabies.  Can you believe that?” he cheerfully added.  “I wonder if she knows me.  If she’s seen me around.”

“Ooohoohoo!  I’m excited for you, Rock!  Proud of you,” Heffer started.  After a brief pause, he began to speak in a more serious tone.  “Just be careful, okay?  I know you’re excited, but like… Don’t let your guard down too much! There’s a bunch of psychos out there.”

Rocko’s face paled and the phone began to slip out of his hands.

“Not that I think the girl you’re going to hook up with is a psycho…  But you know…”

“I know,” he mumbled. “If it makes you feel better, she wanted to meet in public, at Café Chameleon.”

“Café Chameleon?!  Oh, you’ll be fine.  That’s a pretty hip place to meet a stranger, Rock,” Heffer continued. “All sorts of hot, intellectual chicks hang out down there.”

Rocko breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Heff,” he said.

“Call me and let me know how it goes!”

“I will,” Rocko promise. “G’bye.”

“Bye, Rock!  Good luck!”

Heffer hung up and left Rocko alone with his thoughts.  He paced back and forth in his living room.  His nerves were a mess.  He was excited about meeting the woman he’d been flirting with for a while now.  He was nervous about making a bad first impression.  He reminded himself he was just meeting up with her as a friend, but still secretly hoped for more.  He was worried she wouldn’t find him attractive, and now he was slightly nervous she could secretly be some psycho, thanks to Heffer.  This was a big step for him, and he didn’t want to screw it up. His mind raced with all these worries and concerns as he tried to relax and get his mind off of them.

“Let’s get some rest, Spunky,” he eventually said to his dog.  “Tomorrow’s the big day!”

The dog barked enthusiastically and followed him up the stairs.  

△ ▽ △

The next day was brutal. Rocko could safely say it was the longest day of his life.  He didn’t get much sleep the night prior.  When he laid down, his mind was filled with both anxiety and excitement. He must have thought of a million different scenarios before he eventually did pass out.  It felt like Spunky was licking him in hopes of getting breakfast the moment he had finally dozed off.  After pulling the dog away from his face, he rubbed his eyes and looked to his clock.  It was way later than he anticipated.  He had a long day ahead of him, so he reluctantly pulled himself out of bed and began going through the motions of his routine.  With a piece of toast in hand, he walked over to the computer and connected to the internet.  His breakfast was consumed while he wanted for the dial-up, something that he had heard so many times at this point that the sound no longer fazed him.  He saw he had a new message when he did get connected. With butterflies, he opened it.

“took the early shift 2day so i wont be on this morning. cant wait 2 c u 2nite tho!! have a gr8 day!”

This message re-energized him.  With renewed vigor, he signed off and got ready for work.  He left and got to the comic store just in time for his shift. He was hoping for a busy day to help distract him and pass the time, but he had no such luck.  It was one of the slowest days he had ever worked.  The hours dragged by, and he found himself bored and antsy.  He tried to flip through issues that he had not yet caught up on, but couldn’t focus on them.  He decided to focus on mentally preparing for his evening instead.  He wondered what he should wear.  He thought about dressing up to look presentable, but didn’t want to look over-dressed for the occasion, especially if they were just meeting up at a café.  At the same time, he did want to look his best, just in case she was interested in him. He decided to wear one of his nicer shirts that he didn’t wear very often, so he knew it was clean.  With how slow business had been, he should be able to walk out right on time to get home, shower, and get dressed before making his way to the café.

But the universe worked against him, as it often did.  Fifteen minutes before the end of his shift, the shop was filled with a group of kids. Rocko’s heart sank as he watched them tear through the shelves like bulls in a china shop while the professional-looking adult that was with them talked on his phone.  Sweat beaded on Rocko’s brow as he watched he clock on the wall tick closer to seven.  He tried to clear his throat to get the man’s attention, but it didn’t even earn a glance in his direction.

“Um,” he then said.  “Excuse me.”

The businessman shot him an impatient look.  He held up a finger, then pointed at his phone as he continued to talk.  Rocko slouched down behind the counter, resigning himself to the fact that he would not be getting out on time.  Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man finished up his call and put his phone away.

“You kids ready to check out?” the man asked.  The kids ran up to him, all holding multiple comics in hand.  Rocko was relieved, feeling like he might get out of here in time to swing by home and get a shower, but then the man said, “I told you, one comic each.”

“Aww, man!” they all collectively said.  They spent the next several minutes trying to decide which ones to keep and arguing with one another over who had to put one down to let someone else buy one.  Rocko was livid, making a point to walk past the arguing group to turn the open sign on the door around before marching back behind the counter.  

“You know what,” the man said when their arguing continued to go on.  “Put them up.  If you can’t decide, we’re leaving.”

Rocko thought he had lucked up, until the kids began to cry and pitch a fit.  He felt like crying himself, and was honestly surprised he had not. Eventually, the kids threw down all of the comic books they were holding, except for one each, and they brought them to the counter.  Rocko calculated their total as fast as he could and told the adult the total.

“You take checks?” the man asked.

“Yes, sir,” Rocko replied.

The man took out his checkbook and a pen.  He began to write out the check, but then huffed.

“Darn pen’s out of ink.”

Rocko swore he could hear his teeth cracking from how hard he was gritting them.

“Here,” he said, grabbing one from a cup behind the register.  “Use this one.”

“No, no.  I think I got it.”

The man licked the tip of the pen and tried again.  All the while, the kids were pushing and teasing one another.  Rocko thought he was going insane.  He wasn’t sure what he did to deserve this torture, but he wished it was over already.  Eventually, the check was written out.  Rocko snatched it from the man, opened the register, and threw it in the drawer, then ushered the group out of the shop and locked the door behind them.

He knew Mr. Smitty would have his hide if he left the shop looking like it did, so he gathered all the comics that were strewn around and began to tidy up as fast as he could. Once all the shelves were nice and neat, he counted his till and brought it to the back.  He grabbed his timecard to clock out, and his eyes bulged out when he noticed the time.  He only had ten minutes to get to the café.

He rushed to the bathroom in the back of the shop and quickly splashed water on his face and combed through the fur on his head with his fingers.  He smiled in the mirror, making sure there was nothing in his teeth, then grabbed a piece of gum out of his pocket and tossed it in his mouth to freshen up his breath since he wouldn’t be able to brush his teeth.  He glanced over himself, making sure he didn’t look too terrible before running out of the store and locking the door behind him. He jumped in his car and started the engine.  It was five minutes before eight and the café was only a couple of blocks over.

Things appeared to be going smoothly until he got to the next traffic light.  It turned red right as he was about to pass through, causing him to slam on brakes.  He took a deep breath as he waited for the light to change.  A sloth of a little old lady began walking across the crosswalk in front of him.  The opposing light turned yellow, and she was still slowly creeping her way across the crosswalk.  When his light turned green, she was barely halfway across his lane.  He threw his car in park, got out, and picked the lady up, carrying her across the street before turning back.  He narrowly avoided being hit as he rushed back to his car. He hopped in and drove off, pulling into the parking lot right at 8.

“Breathe, Rocko,” he said when he cut off the car.  He looked himself in the eyes through the rear-view mirror.  “You got this.  We got this!”

After taking a deep breath, he stepped out of his car and inside.  Café Chameleon was a lot more packed than he had anticipated on it being. The sign out front said it was open mic night, and he imagined that’s why all sorts of people were in attendance. Rocko kept to himself as he looked around, squeezing his way through the patrons and mumbling apologies as he tried to find his date.  He was only a minute or two late, so he didn’t think he would have missed her.  He told himself that maybe she was running late as well and he had gotten himself all worked up over nothing.

“… Rocko?”

Rocko whipped his head around, recognizing the voice.  All the color drained from his face.  In the corner booth sat his neighbor.

“F-Fiona?” he stammered out, trying not to panic.  Why did he have to see her now of all times?  He hoped that felinefine wasn’t around to see how hard he blushed at the other woman’s presence.  He’d hate to upset the other woman and blow any chance he had.

“Hey there!  What brings you here?” she asked.

“I…  Heh heh… I-I’m, uh… meeting someone…”

“Oh yeah?  Me too,” she said.  She patted the seat beside herself.  “Wanna sit down and wait with me?”

“Um…”  He glanced around nervously again, checking the other corners of the café for this date.  When he saw no one that fit the description, he reluctantly walked over and seated himself beside her.  He felt a bit embarrassed sitting next to Fiona.  She seemed so confident and cool, so different from him.  She smelled so good too, just like she had smelled when she had just gotten out of the shower.  He felt his cheeks getting hotter and hotter.  He was afraid that if he made eye contact with her, he might just burst into flames or something, so he kept looking around.  He still didn’t see anyone in yellow.  Most of the patrons were wearing dark clothes or stripes.  He sighed, beginning to believe that maybe felinefine had decided she wasn’t interested.  Or maybe she had sent him a message about needing to cancel, but since he had not been by home, he missed it.

On the other hand, Fiona had scooted closer to him, and he felt like she was practically sitting on him.

“You seem kinda tense, Rock,” she whispered.  “Feeling fine?”

“Y-Yeah, feeling great, thanks,” Rocko said, before the gears in his head turned.  He stiffened and his eyes widened.  He realized she had not asked him a question, but said what was essentially their codeword.  “Wait!  You-?”

His head swiveled to look at Fiona.  It was then he noticed the color of her shirt— yellow…  And of course, her hair was red…  He grew woozy as he began to piece everything together.  There was no way.  The girl he had been chatting online with this whole time was his own neighbor? All that flirting…  All those dirty things he had said… He’d said to Fiona?  She was the one that teased him until he came?  Fiona was felinefine…  The two women he had fallen for were the same!  He’d be relieved if he wasn’t so shocked.

A smile crossed her face and her hand came up to the top of his head, brushing back his ears.  She repeated the motion, which was both soothing to him and incredibly arousing.  

“So, you are wallababemagnet!” she said, soft enough that only he could hear.  His head bobbed beneath her hand.  “Y’know, this whole time, I was hoping it was you…  I don’t know of any other wallabies in O’Town.”

“You… were?” Rocko squeaked. He couldn’t believe any of this. It felt like it was a joke.  Or like some sort of weird dream.  His brain couldn’t process it all.

She nodded at him.  “Yeah.  You’re totally my type.”

“I-I am?”

“Mhm…  Seriously?  You couldn’t tell I was flirting with you?”

“You… were?”

She pulled her hand away to giggle behind it.

Every word from her mouth made this feel more and more surreal.  Not only was Fiona the one who had been flirting with him online for weeks, but she had been doing it intentionally, knowing that it was him.  Things began to click.  Felinefine would suggest movies to him in hopes that he’d rent them from Plenty-o-Flix where Fiona worked.  It now made sense that felinefine was never online when Fiona was at work, and that he never got messages from her while his neighbor was checking her mail.  That day that she wasn’t online was the same day she needed to come over to shower…  Felinefine couldn’t be chat because Fiona had been on the phone most of the morning before work tying up the line.  He was the guy that wouldn’t bite!  When he suggested that she tell the guy she was crushing on how he felt, she then decided to see if he’d meet up with her.

She smiled at him again, causing a goofy smile to appear on his own face.  He still couldn’t seem to muster any words, so she continued for him.

“Let’s go somewhere private, okay?”

Rocko’s heart thudded. He bobbed his head again.  She stood up from her seat at the table, grabbed his hand, and pulled him along behind her through the crowd and out of the café.  

“Did you drive here?” she asked once they were outside.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied.

“I grabbed a cab, hoping I could catch a ride home with my date,” she said with a wink.  “Wanna drive us back to my place?  Or yours…  Or heck, a hotel for all I care.  It doesn’t matter.”

Rocko’s head spun, but he somehow managed to nod in agreement.

“Okay,” she said with a giggle. “Lead the way.”

He walked forward, leading her in the direction of his car.  He opened the door for her when he reached it, then walked around to hop inside.

“Fiona…” Rocko said when he closed the car door.  She looked over at him, waiting for him to settle his nerves enough to continue.  “I, um… really like you…  A-And truthfully, I joined that chat to learn how to flirt so I could talk to you…  But, um…”  He reached up to scratch the back of his head.  “I kind of ended up falling for both of you…”

Fiona grinned at him. Her eyes twinkled with mischief. He had to admit, it was quite charming. She slid across the bench seat to sit right beside him and rested her hand on top of his leg.  It sent a shiver right through him and caused his heart to race.

“I’m flattered,” she said.

“I... do have one question though,” Rocko said, tapping his fingers together and averting his eyes.

“What’s that?”

“Heffer didn’t put you up to this, did he?”

“Heffer?” she asked. Her brow arched in confusion.  “No, of course not!  Why’d you ask that?”

He chuckled nervously. “Sorry to ask… It’s just… He has a habit of meddling.  He’s the one who signed me up, you see.  Since the two of you have talked before, I thought that maybe he got me to join the chatroom with you on purpose.”

Fiona couldn’t help but laugh.  “No. Absolutely not.”  She crossed her legs and arms while glancing away.  “Believe it or not, I’m a little shy when it comes to things like that.  I never bring up my online habits to anyone I.R.L...  Present company excluded.”

Rocko was surprised by that revelation.  He couldn’t help but chuckle softly.  “It’s okay, Fiona.  I understand.”

She relaxed at his words, turning her head to meet his eyes again.

“I know you do…” she whispered.

Her face grew serious as she leaned in closer.  His lips parted in both disbelief and anticipation.  She pressed herself against him as their lips met, and he found himself kissing back.  He was surprised by the suddenness and intensity of it.  Fiona was forceful and aggressive in her kisses.  Her tongue was insistent and demanding, and it was driving him crazy.  He felt like steam was pouring out of his ears and had to force himself away. There was a newfound look of determination in his eyes when they parted, as if this kiss confirmed that her desire for him was true.  He kept her gaze as he stuck his key in the ignition and cranked up the car.

“Hold on tight,” he warned her before he looked away to throw the car in reverse.  Once out of the space, he put the pedal to the floor then screeched out of the parking lot and down the street.  He pressed harder on the gas when he hit the road and sped off as fast as his little red car would take him in the direction of their neighborhood. While he was focused on making sure they got there, he glanced over at her once or twice, and each time he did, she looked like she was having the time of her life.  The entire time, he heard her giggling beside him.  It only served to encourage him to get to their destination faster.

As they neared her house, he slowed down for a red light.  The second it turned green, he accelerated again, taking the turn hard. They flew through the next intersection without slowing down.  The car swerved slightly around the corner and into his own driveway out of habit.  Rocko parked the car and killed the engine.

“Oh, Rocko,” she said beneath her breath.  “That really got my adrenaline pumping…”

He grinned sheepishly. “Mine too…”

The shared another look, and for a moment, Rocko didn’t think they’d make it out of the car.

“Well?  Let’s get a move on,” she said.  “I know you didn’t fly all the way here just to hang out in your driveway.”  She looked in the direction of the other house beside his.  “I’m sure I won’t ever hear the end of it if the Bigheads catch us fooling around out here.”

With a laugh, Rocko got out of the car first, then walked around to the passenger side to let her out.

“I’ve already seen your place,” said Fiona when he helped her out the car.  “Wanna go to mine?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he said, earning her smile.  She reached for his hand and pulled him along as she walked across his yard to the cute little mid-century modern house next door.  The confidence he’d gained on the ride over began to dissipate as he got closer to her door.  This was really happening.  She was really bringing him into her home.  She pulled her keys out of her clutch and unlocked the door.  Once open, he followed her in and shut it behind him. She kicked off her shoes at the door, and he did the same.

“Ahh…  Much better,” she said.  “Well, now it’s just the two of us…”

One of her fingers came beneath his chin and tilted it upward to look at her.  Rocko felt color creeping its way onto his cheeks, but she only smiled when she saw it.

“You’re blushing again,” she noted.

“I-I… I am…”

She giggled, but said nothing as she let her hand fall.  Without another word, she turned around and began walking further into her home.  He stood there, frozen at the door, just watching her as she walked away.  She stopped and glanced over her shoulder back at him.  She curled one finger and beckoned for him to follow.  After this gesture, he found himself floating along behind her, all the way into her bedroom.

Rocko couldn’t believe he had made it this far.  His heart raced when she closed the door, shutting out the rest of the world and sealing their night together.  This was happening.  She was actually going to…

His thought was interrupted when Fiona picked him up and sat him on the edge of her bed before seating herself by his side.  Her hands slid down his chest, and she leaned over slightly to give him a kiss on the lips. It took him completely off guard and he gasped at the sudden sensation of her warm tongue on his mouth.  Her fingers danced along the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them so she could push it off his shoulders.

“Wow,” he breathed as her paws gently ran up his chest and down his stomach.  “Heh heh… This is…”

He was having trouble forming the proper words.  She was so hot, and as she deepened the kiss, he found himself pinned to the bed beneath her.

“I feel like I’m having all the fun,” she whispered against his lips, resting her hands on either side of his head.  “You know, you’re welcome to undress me too.  You’ve done it with your eyes enough.”

“Oh!  Uh…  Right.”

Rocko swallowed, feeling nervous as he reached for her top.  She straightened up and lifted her arms to allow him to pull it off, and he tossed it aside, leaving her wearing only a bra and a pair of short shorts.

“I’ll help you with this one,” she said, winking as she reached behind her back.  She unclasped the bra and let it fall off her chest. Rocko’s eyes widened at the sight of her bare tits.  He was marveled at just how big they were with nothing covering them up. They weren’t just large. They were huge. They looked even bigger in person than in his fantasies.  He could hardly believe what he was seeing.  He wanted to plant his face in them.

“Oh, my…” he breathed, unable to tear his gaze away.

She giggled at his reaction. “That’s why you wanted to learn to flirt, right?  So that you could get these?” she asked teasingly, leaning over so that they hung right in front of his face.  He gulped, and Fiona’s hand brushed between his legs.  “So, tell me…  Is it true what they say about wallabies?”

“Wh… What do they say?”

“That you guys really aren’t as small down under as you seem.”

Rocko coughed, and he turned red.

“Heh heh… I, uh…  I never really paid attention…”

“So humble too!” she teased, kissing him again on the cheek before standing up and slipping out of her shorts and panties.  Rocko stared at her body, transfixed by every curve.  Though he had done well to keep his composure, his cock now stood at attention. He tried to cross his legs and using his hands to hide it, but it was no use.  It didn’t go unnoticed by her.  Her eyes lit up a kid’s at Christmas.  Sensing that she wanted a better look, he eased his posture and allowed it to spring up proudly for her viewing pleasure.  It wasn’t like him to brag, but there may have been truth in what she asked him earlier.  He had been told before that it was a bit disproportional to his size.

“Oh, wow.  Big things really do come in small packages,” she giggled as fingertips brushed along his length.  It twitched from the attention, and smirked as she pulled her hand away. With a dreamy sigh, she laid face-down on the bed beside him.

“I really want you, Rocko,” she purred as she linked her ankles in the air behind herself.  “All that dirty stuff I sent you wasn’t just lip service.  I want you to fuck me.  You think you can do that?”

Like a bolt from the sky, his confidence had fully returned to him.  Fiona wanted him as much as he wanted her.  She was naked right beside him and practically begging him to take her.

“Yeah, Fiona,” he said, sitting upright.  His voice got a little stronger as he began to grin.  “Yeah.  Yeah, baby! I can do this!”  He jumped off the bed to his feet.  He remembered the chat they’d had about how much she liked it when bashful guys showed their dominant streak.  That memory possessed him.  “Get on all fours for me, Fi…  Please…”

She giggled and did so without hesitation, lifting her bottom half in the air while laying down to hug one of her pillows.  Glancing over her shoulder, she waved her short tail at him invitingly.

“C’mon, Rocko,” she called out in a breathless tone, causing him to climb up on the mattress with her. The bed dipped beneath him when he put his weight down on it and stood behind her.  He took a moment to admire the view.  Her cute, round butt was presented to him, ready for his touch. He sucked in a breath, unable to determine where to begin.

“Don’t make me wait, Rock…”

A smile crept onto his face as he placed both hands on her hips and pulled them toward him.  She let out another giggle at this, and he pulled her closer still.  As he felt her warm fur against his palms, he couldn’t help himself anymore.  His hands smoothed down her thighs.  They felt just as plush and soft as he imagined they would.

“Are you teasing me?” A soft laugh accompanied her question.

“Maybe,” he said.  “Just a little.  You said you didn’t mind payback, yeah?”

She giggled at this.  “Guess I asked for it, huh?”

His hands traveled upwards until he felt her hipbones again.  He gripped her firmly, pulling her against himself.  Her body shifted as he forced her lower half onto his own. The tip of his erection slipped between her pussy lips, and he grunted softly at the sensation.  He pushed harder, pressing more of his length inside of her.  This time she didn’t laugh, though she did let out a cute moan.  He began to thrust into her slowly at first, but soon picked up speed and began to pump into her faster.

“You’re so tight, Fi,” he panted, pushing into her again and again.  

She mewled as he filled her up, her hands grasping handfuls of the bedding beneath her.  He could feel her pussy gripping his cock, and it felt incredible.  She was getting wetter with each thrust, which only added to his excitement.  Her breathing quickened as she began to lose herself to the pleasure of his thrusting.

“Blazes, I’ve wanted to bend you over like this ever since the first time I saw you checking your mail.”

“Mmm… Me too,” she sighed.

“Hm?”

A half-laugh escaped her. He could see how she smiled with her face pressed against the pillow.

“You know, I saw you, Rock,” she said.  “Watching me…”

“You little tease,” Rocko huffed.  Her words caused a fire to ignite within him, and his pace quickened.  He slammed his hips forward, driving his shaft deep inside her and groaning at the intense feeling that followed.  When he thought about how she had seen him watching her through his window, he became even hotter and more worked up.  His slight embarrassment turned to raw lust.  “Every mornin’, you went out wearing as little as you could get away with… just for me?”

“Mhm…  I was hoping I’d lure you out…”

Rocko’s face reddened as he pumped into her faster, and he felt his balls tighten as they smacked against her.

“Bad kitty,” he said as he pulled back and plunged forward again.  “So naughty…”

“Yeah… And you’re a dirty little wallaby…” she laughed.  “How long were you content to watch?  Hm?  How many nights did you lay there and stroke yourself to the mental image of me?”

Rocko’s eyes widened as he felt an unfamiliar warmth grow in his gut.  That teasing...  Even when he thought he was in charge, it was her that was calling the shots, and that drove him wild.  He was helpless to stop himself, and he grip tightened on her hips.  He continued to thrust, slamming his cock in and out of her like a jackhammer.  She was moaning loudly now, and he felt his own voice catch in his throat at the sight of her writhing in front of him.

“I bet… bet you came every night… Didn’t you?” she said.  There was a desperate edge to her voice that sounded like she was going to come any second now.   “Didn’t you, Rocko?  Betcha sat in front of that screen… Milking that big cock of yours, wishing you were drilling it in me.”

Rocko whined in response, unable to deny what she said.  His thrusts had turned shallow, each roll of his hips driving the head of his cock deeper into her than before.  He was close, but he knew she wasn’t quite there yet.  He willed himself to hold it together for her.

“And when I came over to shower…  Fuck, it was written all over your face,” she panted.  “Ooh… It was written all over your face that just me being there was making you hard.  And… And it wasn’t just you…  No, no…  I could have sucked you off the moment you opened that door in your robe…  But I didn’t.  Cos I knew if I teased you enough, we’d end up here…”

“You… You minxy lynx…” He managed to keep his voice steady, but his breaths grew ragged and erratic.  If he wasn’t distracted by being balls deep in her, he’d be impressed at her endeavors.  “You…”

“Oh, fuck… Fuck… You were so worth it…” she whispered.  Her voice grew weaker, and her panting more frequent.  “So fucking worth it…”  Her body shuddered with pleasure, and Rocko felt a familiar warmth growing in his groin.  “Fuck, Rock…  I’m close…”

He continued to pound her, but eventually grew too excited to continue.  After several minutes of rough fucking, he could hold back no longer.

“Oh, baby...  Oh, baby,” he chanted, his breath coming fast and labored as his orgasm approached.  He kept his hips moving, but his motions became less forceful as his orgasm neared.  He could hear himself moan as his cock began to pulse inside her.  He clung to her hips, unable to move or do anything else as his seed shot forth into her.  She gasped as he filled her up, and she did nothing but smile blissfully as he finished himself off inside her.  He let his body slump atop hers as he came down from his high.  Weakly, he tried to pull himself away from her, but his knees buckled as he did so, causing him to collapse on top of her.  A half-laugh escaped her as she lay on the bed with him laying on her back.

“Come up here,” she said after a moment, lazily rubbing the mattress to the side of her.  Rocko didn’t hesitate.  He crawled up beside her, and they both lay there catching their breaths. They looked at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say, neither sure if words were necessary. Eventually, Fiona moved her arm out from under the pillow she had been laying on and threw it over him to pull him closer.  His head wound up pressed to her fuzzy breasts, and he snuggled up against them. She purred softly and kissed him gently on the cheek.  He closed his eyes and relaxed against her.  

They laid that way for a while, until Rocko felt his stomach growl.  Though he tried to ignore it, it was loud enough for Fiona to hear and cause her to giggle.

“Have you eaten?” she asked.

“Oh, heh heh... Um… N-Not since breakfast, no…”

She lifted her head to look past him, then her head fell back down onto the pillow.

“It’s not super late,” she said, looking into his eyes as she stroked his head.  “Want me to order us some take-out and we can watch a movie or something?”

“Mm... Yeah,” Rocko said. “That sounds great, Fi.”

“Alrighty then, lover boy,” she said with a grin as she pulled herself away from him and upright. “Pizza sound good?”

He bobbed his head.  

“Wanna wash up?” she asked, pointing towards her bathroom as she grabbed the phone off her nightstand. “I can join you after I call it in.”

He blushed at the suggestion.  Somehow, even after having sex with her, he still felt shy around her, but something told him things wouldn’t be that way very long.

△ ▽ △

Rocko was slightly confused the next morning upon waking in an unfamiliar setting, but when he recognized that he was in the fluffy embrace of his new girlfriend, everything came rushing back.  What a night it had been.  The rest of the evening could not have been more perfect following their first time together.  After sharing a steamy shower, they settled down on the couch with the pizza Fiona had ordered and remained there for the rest of the night.  He finally got to see the state-of-the-art entertainment system that she had bragged about when they first began chatting online, and it really was just as incredible as she had described it.  She had put on a movie she had brought home from work, but they were too busy chatting to pay it any attention.

The bashfulness that Rocko had long associated with being around her became a thing of the past as the night progressed.  Conversing with her was even more effortless than it had been when they were just anonymous strangers hiding behind computer screens.  Within hours of hanging out with her, he felt like he’d known her his whole life, and was convinced she’d remain in it for the foreseeable future. There was something even more special between them than he could have ever imagined.  

At some point over the night, they had dozed off together.  Despite the fact that they were curled up together on her couch instead of sharing a bed, Rocko could not think of a time where he had ever been more comfortable.  He could hardly believe after all that pining, he had actually wound up in Fiona’s arms. With a content sigh, he snuggled up closer to her.  She shifted a bit, pulling him even closer to her, which he happily allowed.  

“Mmm… Rock?” she groggily murmured without cracking open her eyes.

“Hm?” he replied, his own voice muffled by her soft fur.

“Morning, babe,” she said, lifting her head to kiss him on the nose.

Rocko’s eyes opened and immediately locked on to her.  She was already awake and smiling at him, a hint of mischief in those gorgeous eyes. Her hair was a mess; her cheeks were rosy and flushed from sleep, and her lips curved into a slight smirk.  He couldn’t help but think that this was the hottest she’d ever looked to him.

“You’re so gorgeous, Fi,” he said softly, unable to keep his hands off her.  He kissed her in return, on her lips, and then on her neck before letting his fingers trace along her sides and down to her waist.  She giggled and twisted away from him playfully.

“Don’t get too excited, sweet thing,” she teased.  “You gotta go check on Spunky, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he sighed.  “Yeah, I do…”

She yawned and stretched languidly before sitting up to look at the clock.

“And would you look at the time,” she laughed.  “I need to check my mail.”

Rocko’s face turned pink upon hearing that, especially after her confession the night prior that she checked her mail every day at the same time knowing he watched her do it.  She kissed him on the cheek before rising to her feet.  She scooped her clothes up off the floor, and his as well.

“If you wanted, you could come back for breakfast,” Fiona offered as she tossed his shirt to him.  “I don’t mind if you bring Spunky, either.”

That offer had him grinning from ear to ear.  “Yeah! I’d love to.”

“Perfect,” she said. He watched as she quickly slipped into her clothes and tied her hair up.  “Going outside.  I’ll get started afterwards.”

After he nodded, Fiona slipped out the front door.  She made it to her mailbox before she heard a voice call to her from next door.

“Morning, Fiona!”

She stopped, and a wide grin crossed her face as she noticed the steer sitting on Rocko’s doorstep, munching on a bag of chips.

“Hey, Heff” she said. After grabbing her mail, she stopped by the fence between her house and his.  “Whatcha doing over there?”

“Waiting to see if Rock’s home,” Heffer said.  “Between you and me... He had a date last night, and I dunno if he went out with a psycho.”

“Is that so?” she said, with a laugh.  Before she could feign ignorance any longer, Rocko stepped out her front door, looking very pleased with himself.  The wallaby froze mid-step when he caught Heffer staring at him; his triumphant look turned to an awkward one as his friend’s jaw dropped.  The widest grin spread across Heffer’s face when he put the pieces together.  He looked at Rocko’s guilty face, then over at Fiona’s smirk, then back to Rocko, who was now averting his eyes, and began to laugh.

“Well, I’ll talk to you later, Heffer!” Fiona said before turning to go back inside.  She stopped where Rocko still stood frozen and leaned in. “Don’t keep me waiting,” she whispered, kissing him on the cheek before ducking back into her house and leaving him outside to explain himself.

“Oooh, man!” Heffer exclaimed as he left Fiona’s yard and walked into his own, avoiding eye contact as he walked past the steer towards his front door.  “Someone’s got some explaining to do!”

In spite of his initial embarrassment, Rocko was unable to hold back his prideful smile as he entered his house with Heffer badgering him.  He wasn’t one to kiss and tell, but who could blame him if he wanted to brag?  He'd finally connected with the woman of his dreams.