The Paradise Mall wasn’t exactly a thriving monument to the hedonistic splendor of consumerism.  Sure, it had decent traffic on a good day, but that said nothing since most days in Paradise were anything but good.  This particular evening was slower than average.  Closing time was nearing for the majority of the businesses housed within.  The lack of life made the heavy footfalls of Dude’s boots echo over the dull muzak and fluorescent lights that droned ominously through the liminal space.

Despite what many would consider eerie surroundings, Dude didn’t mind.  He strolled through the west wing of the empty mall’s first floor with his fists in the pockets of his coat.  Being able to walk a few steps without bumping into some hostile lunatic was a welcome luxury.  In fact, it was only when he reached his destination that he found the first sign of life this building had to offer.  The bell above the door announced his arrival with a chime, causing that sole inhabitant of the store to look up from her clipboard.

“Evening.”

Dude nodded in response to the woman’s voice, more focused on surveying the scene than pleasantries.  For a place that was crammed full of butt plugs and bondage gear, Orifice Depot had a hospitable ambiance.  Calling it a classy establishment would be a stretch, but a look around and it was clear that this wasn't your step-dad's seedy sex shop, nor was it dark and obnoxious with all the toys shoved in the back corner of what was essentially a novelty t-shirt shop aimed at edgy teens.  It was a clean, well-kept, well-lit business.

“Looking for anything in particular or just browsing?” he heard her voice ask, and only then did he actually look towards the lady who had stepped behind the counter and sat her clipboard to the side.  Damn… She was a knockout.  Definitely the kind of woman he'd picture working at a place like this.  Busty.  Stacked.  Resting bitch face behind the yellow lenses of the chunky glasses she wore; pale but made up with slightly smudged dark makeup around the eyes.  There was a bit of weight to her, but she wore it in all the right places.  While Dude preferred blondes, she pulled off the dark roots with the washed-out red in those cute buns.  She looked like she’d be trouble if she wasn’t on the clock.  Hell, she might have been trouble on the clock working at a place like this.  He could appreciate a good-looking woman, especially now that he didn’t have to worry about having to hide it from a nagging bitch back home, but he wasn’t trying pick up babes right now.  Not here.  He was sure this clerk had her fair share of the horned-up perverts coming in here trying to get lucky with some poor employee.

“Hi there,” Dude said, getting straight to business.  “Yeah, was hoping to see your assortment of vacuum constriction devices.”

“The pumps?” she asked.  The professional look on her face didn’t falter.  It was clear she had been in the business long enough not to blush and giggle at a man asking for a device to make his dick bigger.  After Dude nodded in confirmation, she continued.  “Sure.  Right this way.”

When she walked around from behind the register to lead him to the wares, he noticed that her height was all boot.  She wore the big platform ones that he saw punks and rivetheads wear.  Even then, she only came up to about his shoulders.  The fact that she was so short exaggerated those curves of hers.  Goddamn, she must have been poured into that leather skirt.

“You looking for something manual or electric?” she asked, stopping in front of a display off to the side.

Dude stroked his goatee as he looked at the pumps.  There were far more options than he anticipated.  This was a decision he couldn’t afford to take lightly. 

“I’m open to advice,” he admitted.  He hadn’t done any research.  He just knew it’d been a while since he got laid and he hoped something like this would spice up his evening plans with his hand.

“Sure.  This one here is a fan favorite,” she said.  She picked a box off the shelf and turned it around, pointing a painted nail at the feature list.  “Electric.  Rechargeable.  Guys seem to love how quiet this one is compared to older electric models.  The sleeve and cock rings it comes with are BPA-free silicone.  I think there’s like six or seven different size rings in there.  Multiple settings and intensities, so you can choose what’s best for you.  Ergonomic design and easy to clean.  And I suppose most importantly, reviews say it gives you firmer, longer lasting erections with regular use…”

Dude nodded along at the product’s description.  Her pitch sounded rehearsed; it was honestly impressive.  She had to have given this spiel before.

“Sounds reasonable,” he replied.  “How much would it set me back?”

“I’ll admit, it’s a bit pricey at $99.99.”  The woman sat the first box down and grabbed another.  “If you’re on a budget, this one here’s another electric for $64.99.  The battery life on that one isn’t the greatest, the motor’s loud as hell, not quite as roomy, and I’ve heard it’s not as durable, but it’ll get the job done for a while.  I will say I’ve had a few regulars say they wish they would have spent the extra up front because they had to replace the cheaper one after a while.  Only reason I still carry it is because it does the job for people who aren’t looking to use it regularly.  It might be fine for you if you’re just wanting something more casual and don’t care about it being discreet.”

After placing that back in its spot, she bent down to grab one off of a lower shelf.  Though he wasn’t trying to ogle her, he couldn’t help but take notice of the perfect aerial view down her cleavage that his height granted to him.  He appreciated the view, but his primary reaction was wondering if she walked around in public like this on a daily basis or if it was company dress code to rile guys up so they buy more.  Maybe he was just cynical.  She straightened back up to show him a different product.

“As far as manual ones go, the Chump Pump is a best seller at $34.99,” she continued.  “Comes with three different sleeves to accommodate anything from chodes to schlongs… Though if you have a schlong, I’d recommend the XL model so you can have more room to grow.  If this is your first pump, it’s a great option.  You can see if you like the results before splurging on something more high-tech, but it could also last you a while if you don’t need anything fancy.”

“I like the sound of that,” he said.  She offered the box to him, which he accepted.  His eyes skimmed the packaging.  “This will do just fine.”

“Great,” she replied.  “Anything else I can help you find?  Maybe some extra lube to reduce irritation?  They usually come with a little, but we’re having a sale right now and if you’re anything like me, you can never have enough.”

“Hm… No, thank you.  Not at the moment,” said Dude with a shake of his head.  “This will do it for me.”

“Well, if you’re ready to check out, I can ring you up.”

He nodded and the two made their way back to the counter.  Once she walked behind it, he passed the box back to her.  She began punching numbers into the cash register.  The door chimed and another man walked in.

“Evening,” the woman called out without looking up from the register.  Dude glanced over as the shifty man walked towards the two of them.  He had no room to judge since he had his own heavy coat on, but something about the position of the man’s hand inside of it made him suspicious.  “I’ll be right with you, sir.”

The man said nothing as he drew closer, stopping right in front of her, beside Dude.  He produced a gun out of his coat and pointed it right at the woman’s chest.  Dude wanted to groan.  Typical trouble in Paradise.  Now, he would have to wait for this stick-up to be over before he could even think about going home and masturbating during that movie marathon like he planned.  He might even miss the first movie.  Hell, what if she wouldn’t let him walk out with the pump because she wouldn’t have change?  Or if he had to stick around for the police to show up and they found the shit he had stashed on him?  Shit.

“T-This is a stickup!”

The sound of the robber’s shaky voice grabbed the clerk’s attention.  One glance at the gun and she rolled her eyes.  Folding her arms, she sighed and gave him a look that was more inconvenienced than anything.

“What do you want?”

“A-All the money in the register!” he stammered.  “And whatever’s in the back too!  And the… the entire series of Golden Shower Girls!  On DVD!”

Was this idiot really trying to rob a sex store in the middle of a mall?  If only there was a good guy around with a gun to stop this.  Oh well, Dude would have to do… especially if he wanted to get home at any point tonight.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, getting the thief to divert his focus towards him.  He glanced over, looking at Dude, then glancing down at the sawed-off shotgun he produced from his own coat, before finally looking at the product on the counter.  With a laugh, the guy turned his handgun in his direction.

“Compensating, much?  Why don’t you mind your own business, little guy.”

While the assailant was distracted by Dude, the woman behind the counter moved swiftly, pulling her own Beretta out from under the counter.  Christ, everyone in Paradise carried, huh?  Unlike the other two, she gave no warning before pulling the trigger.

The man cried out when the bullet went right through his shoulder.  He lost his grip and his weapon clattered to the ground.  His other hand darted to touch the wound, and his eyes widened when he pulled it back to see blood.  In the time that he was frozen in disbelief, she had made her way around the counter to where he stood and struck the side of his head with the gun.  He crumpled to his knees.

“Owww, you fucking bitch!” he whined.  “Why’d you do that?”

While he was down, she squatted in front of him and used her free hand to grab his neck.

“Self-defense,” she said as she squeezed.  She looked up at Dude.  “Isn’t that right, sir?”

For all her beauty, not a single thing turned Dude on more than seeing that this lady was so trigger-happy.  The professional façade hadn’t entirely disappeared, but there was a slight smile on her lips and a spark in her eyes as she kept the gun trained on the bleeding buffoon while gripping his throat.  Shooting him was one thing, but topping that off with seeing her pistol whip then choke him out sent all the blood downstairs.  If he could bag a psycho bitch like that, he could save money by skipping the pump.  He nodded, and not just because he felt like she’d blow his head off if he dared to oppose her.

“She’s right,” he said with a nod.  “I saw it all.”

“Well, good thing I have a witness since I haven’t had the chance to get the security cameras in the showroom fixed.”

Dude had never really been sold on the whole idea of being head over heels for someone until that exact moment.  The implications in her words sent shivers down his dick.  There was something bad wrong with this woman.  Something dangerous…  Something exciting.

She let go of the assailant’s neck with a shove before rising to her full height, allowing her short stature to tower over his cowering form.  The gun remained aimed at his head.

“Now, are you going to run along or am I going to have to waste bullets to finish you off, call the cops to clean you off my carpet and have your obituary include the fact that you pulled a gun on me for pissing grandma porn?”

Her point was made clear.  The guy scrambled to his feet and stumbled out of the store without another word.

Dude bent down after he disappeared, grabbing the free gun off the ground and shoving it in his coat.  Finders keepers.  By the time he stood up, she was back behind the counter and placing his purchase in a discreet black bag.

“How much do I owe you?” he asked, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.  She waved him off.

“Don’t worry about it.”  She finished out the transaction with a few more buttons on the register.  The receipt printed as the drawer opened, which she shut with her hip as she tore the receipt and shoved it in his bag.  “Consider it a loyalty discount.” 

He grinned at this and slipped his wallet back into place.  His broke ass wasn’t about to argue.  As she handed the bag to him, she looked up into his eyes.  Hers were dilated from adrenaline and darkened with desire. 

“Let me know if you need any help using it.”

Her sudden offer surprised him, but if she was half as good with a cock as she was with a gun, he’d be a fool to turn her down.

“Now that you mention it, I might,” he replied.  “You know, first time and all…  When’s your shift end?”

“Whenever I decide to lock up.”

A brow raised over the frame of his shades.  Damn, had the events that transpired really got her that worked up that she would risk her job just to get it out of her system?

“Not that I’m complaining, but your boss won’t get mad at you for giving away the goods and abandoning your post?”

‘And shooting a guy on the clock…?’ he thought, but kept to himself.  She chuckled in response and leaned onto the counter.

“Baby, I am my boss.”

Dude let out a low whistle, eyeing her up again in appraisal, especially now that she was resting her tits on the countertop like that.  “Well, that certainly explains some things… The fuck are we waiting on, then?”

Her eyes narrowed at the question, but there was a look of mischief present in her smirk.  She straightened up and sauntered over to the entrance of the store.  She pulled the chain to turn off the open sign, then twisted the lock with a flick of her wrist.  Before Dude realized it, the shutters were closing to trap him inside with this lady.  She grabbed his wrist when she returned to him to drag him behind her as she headed to an “Employee’s Only” door.  She pushed her way through it, tugging him into the back.  Once they were in the stockroom, she pushed him up against the door.

“Alright.  Show me what I’m working with,” she told him.

He sat his bag on a shelf before reaching for his belt.  He unbuckled it, then made quick work of his fly.  He pushed his jeans and boxers off his hips, exposing himself to her.  She gave it a look that was more analytical than appreciative.  “You clean?”

He shook his head.  “Nah.  Honestly, I just smoked before leaving the—”

“Not talking about drugs.  You don’t have any STDs, right?” she said, cutting him off.

“Oh.”  God, she was making him feel like a dumbass.  He kind of liked it.  “My dick’s clean.”

With a nod, she reached for the bag he had set aside.

“Now, ideally, you would rinse and dry this before first use,” she said as she began unpacking the pump from the box.  “But I’m not trying to be here all night.”

Dude just nodded and watched her begin to assemble the pump.  He glanced around the stockroom.

“You, uh… work up here all by yourself?” he asked. 

“Not usually.  Just my luck I have to deal with an attempted robbery on the night my closing cashier calls out.”

All he could do was shake his head in sympathy.  He’d voice his concern over the dangers of that if he hadn’t seen how she handled the situation with such ease and indifference.  Something told him she’d be able to hold her own even if the gun was nowhere to be found.

After everything was pieced together, she fished a little squeeze tube out of the box and squirted some of the substance on her fingertips.  He watched carefully as she applied it to the silicone ring.  She held the pump under her arm to squirt more of it into her palm, then dropped to squat in front of him.  She reached forward and started stroking it along his cock, which twitched from the touch.

“Ngh… N-Not your first time at this, hm?” he asked, trying to keep his husky voice steady.

“Nope,” she said.  “Was a Domme back in college.  I’ve pumped more limp-dicked adulterers than I can count.”

She was a mistress?  Damn, no wonder she wasn’t fazed at all by sex talk and violence… or looked at his dick like one of the chicks at the clinic would.  It made sense now that he thought about it, but that wasn’t the most surprising lore drop of the reply.

“College?” he repeated.  “What for?”

“Bachelors in Business,” she said.

“Now you’re in the bachelor business,” joked Dude without missing a beat, which actually got a snort out of her.  She grinned up at him as she shook her head.

“This job is more taken men than not, but that was cute.”

Just as he was starting to feel something in his chest, and not just palpitations from too much Crackola, she brought the pump to his groin and stuck his penis in the tube.  She held the tube in place and her other hand grabbed the bulb to begin to pump the air out.  Shit, this was really happening.  He could already feel the slight pressure of vacuum seal.

“How it feel?” she asked.  He couldn’t form the words to respond properly, so he just nodded.  “Good.  Let me know if it starts feeling uncomfortable.”

He grunted in acknowledgement.  He could feel all the blood rushing down there with every squeeze of that bulb.  He was probably going to have the best boner he’d had since… Fuck, it had to be since before he married the Bitch.  His ex was the last thing he wanted to think of right now.  He had priorities at the moment, like what the hell was he going to do with the boner.

“So, uh… after this part… How long’s it last?”

“The pumping part or the erection?”

“The erection.”

“Well, after you’re good and hard, I’m going to slide a cock ring on you to keep you hard longer.  Not recommended to keep those things on longer than 30 minutes.”

“30 minutes?  Sounds like plenty of time for a good time.”

“What’s your idea of a good time?”

The question she posed made Dude shrug.  “Depends.  What’s yours?”

She laughed at this, then rose to her feet.  “Glad you asked.  Here, hold this,” she said, passing the bulb to him.  “Don’t pump it anymore.  I’ll be right back.”

Dude eyed the Mistress as she walked away, disappearing into what he could only assume was the back office.  His mind raced with possibilities.   What could a girl like her have in mind?  He wasn’t left wondering long before she returned.  It wasn’t until she stood before him again that she held a condom up between two of her fingers.  She bit the corner of the wrapper to free her hands so she could return to the pump.  She rolled the ring off of the tube and onto the base of his dick, then with a twist of her thumb and forefinger, she released the valve.  Air rushed back into the chamber, easing the seal on Dude’s cock enough for her to slide it off. 

“That shit really works,” Dude commented, bringing a tentative hand to his junk to admire how engorged it looked and felt.  She set the pump off onto a shelf full of stock and tore open the package on the condom.  With a few quick flicks, she rolled it down his length.  Though he fucking hated that he’d have to wear a rubber, having a chick give him this much attention for a change was nice.  He had no opportunity to think about commenting on this though before she began to pull her tight skirt up her thick thighs until it was around her hips.  Dude’s mouth watered as he caught a glimpse of her black satin panties, and he felt like he was about to burst when she turned around to grab the shelf behind her which gave him a good view of her fat ass.

“Alright,” she said, looking at him over her shoulder.  “Put that thing to use.”

“Am I supposed to fuck your ass?” he asked, which made her shrug.

“I don’t care.  Take your pick… Just don’t take all night.”

If anal was on the table, he was definitely going to go with that.  A special occasion such as this could benefit from something a bit more exotic than his usual bouts.  With this newfound permission, he stepped up behind her and tugged her panties down to expose her ass.

“Goddamn,” he breathed.  He took hold of her hip with one hand and spread her cheek with his thumb.  He used the other hand to guide his dick, but he didn’t get far before she spoke up.

“Grab that tube by the pump and lube me up if we’re going with anal.”

Dude rolled his eyes, but took his hand off his dick to reach for it anyway.  She was letting him hit, so he figured he might as well try to act like a gentleman for once.  He squeezed the middle of the tube to squirt some right into her ass crack and tossed it to the side, then used the tip of his cock to rub it against her pucker.

“That good enough for you, baby?” asked Dude.  He was trying not to let his impatience show, but he was really ready to sink this good wood into something.  Just that little bit of stimulation had his tip leaking.

“It’ll work.”

The words barely fell from her mouth before he pushed the head of his tip into her asshole.  He wasn’t one for taking things slow, but the damn thing was so tight that he couldn’t ram it in as fast as he would’ve liked.  He took his time, easing it in, letting the warmth of her hole envelope him.  He gripped her hips tighter as he guided it in deeper.

“Holy fuck,” he grunted.  His eyes rolled back into his skull as her sphincter clenched down around him.  “How’d you keep this ass so tight?”  She shrugged, and he couldn’t help but smack and grab a handful of her cheek when he was finally buried to the hilt.  “No offense, didn’t think it’d be this tight after you said you used to do this for a living.”

“Christ, you’re mouthy, aren’t you?”

With a chuckle, he leaned in to whisper against her ear.

“Does my voice annoy you?”

She breathed a laugh of her own out of her nose and shook her head.  “Not yet.”

“Mm, that’s good… Because I’m probably about to get a whole lot worse.”

At that, he began to drag himself out.  The resistance of her ass around him was enough to drag a moan out of his throat.  Once he had pulled out everything but the tip, he pressed back in.  This thrust was even more delicious than the last, gliding in smoother this time around.  It didn’t take nearly as much effort for her fat ass to be smooshed up against his pelvis.  His balls were already starting to ache, but that ring was doing well not to let him bust yet.

“God, I needed this… How you feeling?”

“Wishing you’d play with my clit or tits or something, but other than that, I guess I’m fine.”

Dude laughed aloud at this.  He’d take a woman that was blunt with her desires over having to play fucking mind games to figure out what she wanted.

“You’re a bossy little thing, aren’t you?” he asked, throwing an arm over her shoulder.  He snaked a hand down her top, grabbing one of her pillowy breasts.  He continued as his fingertip traced her already stiff nipple.  “Wait, wait…  Don’t tell me— you’re not bossy; you’re the boss.”

“Damn right, I am,” the Mistress said, flashing him a smirk as she glanced over her shoulder.  “Now fuck me like you mean it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He wasted no time now.  He began to move his hips, settling on a rhythm while continuing to rub and tug at her nipple.  He brought his lips to her neck, trying to elevate her pleasure with licks, nips, and even kisses as he reamed her ass.  When the combined feeling of the attention from his lips and the bristle of his beard against the back of her neck made her shiver, he knew he was doing something right.

“That better?” he huffed out.  Damn, he was getting out of breath.  He couldn’t remember the last time he put in this much work.  If he could get something like this on the regular, maybe he’d think about cutting back on smoking… Maybe.

She bobbed her head at his question, so he kept going.  He fucked her so hard that he swore he was penetrating her intestines.  Watching that ass bounce against him was unreal.  All he could think about was taking her doggy style.  He was going to make sure this wasn’t an isolated event.  If how easy she was tonight was any indicator, getting her to put out again would be a piece of cake.  And if she only got that hot when she shot someone?  Well, there were plenty targets in Paradise and he had enough ammunition to go around.

The stockroom was starting to reek of sex, and the gratuitous sounds of their coupling filled the air.  The point had been reached where words failed to form; they only communicated through moans, grunts, and their bodies.  The pump did exactly what it said on the tin— it gave Dude a firmer erection that lasted longer than it would without, but it never promised he’d last forever.  All the primal sensations mingling were making it more difficult to control that urge to release.  With each thrust, the inevitable drew near.

“I’m… gonna cum…”

He pulled out of her shirt to hold her hip for the final act, but she was quick to reach back, grab his wrist, and guide his hand between her legs.  She placed her fingers on top of his to direct his motions.

“Rub,” she said.  “And don’t you dare cum until I do.”

He did just that, frantically rubbing her clit through his shallow thrusts.  His nuts felt like they’d explode at any minute, but he managed to stave off his release a little longer.  He’d hate to find out what she’d do to him if he disobeyed.  He tried not to even think about it, knowing those violent tendencies of hers might just be his trigger.  She wasn’t vocal, but he didn’t need her to speak to know she was almost there with him.  He could feel her soaking his fingertips and her ass milking his cock.  In a desperate attempt to speed this up, he put his mouth right at the junction of her neck and shoulder.  He bit down, not too hard, but enough to make her cry out and cream all over his fingers.  When her pussy spasmed, her ass followed, and feeling that around his twitching cock was enough for him to join her.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned against her neck.  He kept rutting against her ass as he felt the condom fill up with his load, gradually slowing as his climax tapered away.  Drenched in sticky sweat and panting for breath, he remained in her for a moment longer.  When he felt his dick beginning to deflate, he finally pulled out.  He pulled the condom off and tied a knot at the end.  The cock ring was then rolled off.  He watched her tug her panties back up and smooth down her skirt.

“Well?” she said.  “How was it?”

There was a smug aura in that statement that drove him wild. 

“Can’t say the performance boost was strictly the work of the pump,” he said.  “You skewed the results.”