A strong autumn breeze howled outside the trailer, making the vinyl siding creak ominously.  Dude paid it no mind as he snoozed on the couch.  Something did startle him though— knuckles rapping against his forehead. 

“Earth to Dude…”

He stopped mid-snore and jolted upright, reaching for the gun that was not holstered to him.  His eyes locked on the woman standing above him, or rather, her tits that were about to pop out of her tie-top.

“Jesus, woman,” he muttered, closing his eyes and sinking back against the cushions.  “You know I have a bad heart…”  Before she could say something smart about his life choices, he cracked open an eye again to get a better look at her boobs.  “The fuck are you all dressed up for?”

“The Halloween party that you were also invited to,” she said, folding her arms at her chest.  Damn, that only brought more attention to them.

“Ah…  Right, have fun with that,” he said.  “I’ll be here if you need me… What are you supposed to be anyway?”

She stood up straight, holding her arms out so he could get a better look at her outfit.  She had a top with the logo of his former employer and hip-huggers that conveniently revealed a G-string.

“I’m a POSTAL Babe.”

“Hell yeah, you are.”  Now he could see it.  She was dressed as one of those porn stars that hung out with Vince and his crew.  He’d partied with a few of them in his time.  She probably couldn’t pass for real one, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like what he saw.  “You sure you wanna waste that outfit on a party with your coworkers?”

“Positive.”  She grabbed a jacket and threw it on.  “I’ll be back later.  Try not to pass out with a lit cigarette again.”

“Have fun,” he muttered, waving her off as she disappeared out the door.

Dude ran a hand over his head the moment he was all alone.  He almost felt bad about not joining her, but not enough to rush out the door after her.  It was for the best.  Sometimes being such a misanthrope was exhausting.   If he went, he knew he’d just get bored or agitated before the party even got properly started and his misery would rub off on her, unless he wound up doing something dangerous and illegal first.  And with her going out looking like that?  He’d probably have to gouge out the eyes of every man in Paradise and a decent percentage of the ladies.

He kicked his feet up and laid down on the couch, tugging the Krotchy throw blanket over himself.  He had every intention of resuming his nap.  There was just one little problem— he was hard as a rock.  Her “costume” really did something for him.  While she wore revealing attire on a near daily basis, this was different.  It wasn’t her typical leather and vinyl, and for some reason, that was exciting. While one arm remained flung over his forehead, the other drifted beneath the blanket.

It was a good thing that he didn’t go, he reassured himself as his hand crept past the waistband of his boxers.  She wouldn’t have made it out the yard before he had her in the backseat of his hatchback, screwing her so hard they’d wear the suspension out.  Fingers danced along his length as he imagined it.  He caught his bottom lip between his teeth and gave his dick a tug.  It pulsed in his fist, making him groan and melt into the worn cushions.

A gravely sigh slipped past his lips when he imagined what he wanted to do to her when she got home.  He’d scoop her up before she even made it through the door, toss her onto the couch and only undress her enough to get his dick wet.  Hip huggers hugging her thighs instead, G-string yanked to the side.  He thrust upwards into his grip, aching for it to be her snatch around him instead.  He’d gotten into a good rhythm of pumping his fist inside of his boxers when the door swung open.

The Mistress froze halfway through the door before she could even finish her sentence.  He jumped up, ripping his hand out of his underwear and scrambling to sit up.  They stared at each other for a moment, both too caught off guard to form thoughts.

“You’re, uh… back early, honey,” he said, punctuated with a nervous laugh.

She nodded, not tearing her eyes away from him.  “Yeah… Forgot my phone…”

Dude looked over.  Upon seeing it charging on the end table, he went to reach for it only to be stopped.

“Don’t touch that,” she briskly said.  He paused when it hit him that he was about to grab it with the hand that had just been down his pants.  He cringed at the realization.

“Shit… My bad.”

“It’s fine.”  She stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.  She continued standing there, back against the door while he sat at attention on the couch.  A smile soon crossed her face.  “So, couldn’t even wait for me to get out the yard?”

Dude chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck— with his other hand.

“Can ya blame me?” he said.  “There’s something about POSTAL babes that gets me going.”

“Is that right?”  She closed the distance between them to squat right in front of him.  Eyes landed right back on her tits.

“… Sure you don’t wanna party with me instead?” asked Dude.  He tossed back the blanket to own what he’d been caught doing.  The thin boxers were tented against his hard cock, and he didn’t miss how it immediately got her attention.  “I’m definitely better company.”