“What time do you need a ride?” Liv asked.

“I’m closing with Elias so I need you to get here ten on the dot,” said Randal.  “I can be like ‘Oh, can’t keep Liv waiting.  You know how pissy pregnant women get…’  And then I get out of here without having to ass around forever as he finishes up catching me up to speed about the exhilarating game of Dungeons and Dragons that he hosted last night and how his cleric almost got laid with a lusty tiefling maid or some shit.”

She chuckled, shaking her head.

“You just can’t admit how much fun you have hanging out with him, can you?  You’ve been looking forward to that D&D follow up all week.”

“Oh, I totally have and totally can,” he replied.  He held a finger up, then pointed at Liv.  “But not to his face.  Don’t want him getting a big head like ‘Mister Dante’ over here.”

Dante, who was checking the shelves for expired items, scoffed from the aisle.

“See?” Randal said, gesturing at Dante as he walked Liv to the door.  “Big head.  Can’t even take a joke.”

“Right.  Well, I’ll see you at ten then.”

“Later.”  Randal leaned over, kissing Liv on the lips.  “Try not to drive like an asshole in the rain.” 

Dante, who wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, couldn’t help but smile when he heard Randal’s tone soften despite his choice of words.  Out of the corner of his eye, he also noticed his friend’s hand rest on the swell of Liv’s pregnant belly.  Randal would never admit to it, but he was getting dangerously close to growing up after all these years.

“Pinky promise,” Liv said, taking his free hand and hooking his pinky with hers.  “Later, Randal… Bye, Dante!”

“Bye, Liv,” Dante responded.

Randal straightened up, giving her one last playful rub before letting her leave the store.  Dante noticed him watch her walk to her car before turning around, grabbing a porno mag off the rack, and heading behind the counter.  Gathering the recently expired candy bars he’d located, Dante made his way to the counter as well to damage out the expired food before the end of his shift.  Randal swiped a Twix bar and opened it up.  He took a bite of it, made a face at the taste of stale cookie inside, then took another bite.

“How’s it feel?” Dante asked with a smirk.

“Kinda tough, but edible.”

“No, not that…  How’s it feel knowing pretty soon you’ll be a dad?”

Randal grinned.

“Well, Liv’s called me ‘daddy’ since I was about twenty-six, so that’s nothing new.”

Dante rolled his eyes.  It was still impossible to get a straight answer from him.

“C’mon.  Are you nervous?  Excited?”

Randal gave a noncommittal shrug, which made Dante sigh.  Randal had somehow managed to go this entire pregnancy without divulging many details about his current state of mind.  If Dante didn’t see first hand how he interacted with Liv, he’d assume he didn’t care at all.

“Well, since we’re on the subject… I do have a question about fatherhood,” said Randal.

“Shoot.”

“Did Becks ever let you drink her milk?”

“… What?”

“You heard me.  Did Becky let you have some of that sweet tit silk?”

“Really?” Dante said flatly.  “I’m over here trying to have a serious conversation with you!”

“And that was your first mistake,” laughed Randal.  “Answer the question.  I bet she did.”

Dante ran a hand over his face.  Dangerously close… but Randal would never quite grow up.

“Why do you ask?”

“Liv’s milk came in,” Randal announced.  “Been waiting eight months for this day, and let me tell you.  There wasn’t much, but it was just as glorious as I always imagined.  If I didn’t have to be up here saving up to buy diapers for the kid, I’d probably be at it right now.”  He paused, rubbing his jaw while unable to wipe the smirk from his face.  “But my jaw kinda hurts from how long I was at it last night afterwards.  That stale candy bar didn’t help.”

Dante shook his head.  The bell on the door chimed, and both men paused to look in that direction.

“Hi, Mr. Dante!  Hi, Randal!”

“The boy wonder himself,” Randal said, crossing his arms.  “Have fun on your little date last night?”

Elias rolled his eyes.  “It wasn’t a date, Randal…  It was a campaign.”

“But were there chicks, right?”

The younger man smirked, glancing away from the other two.

“… Yeah…”

“A hole’s a hole.  I bet one of those nerdy chicks would let you stick it in them,” said Randal.  “Nerdy chicks are the freakiest.  They read too much and got all these crazy, kinky ideas.  Right, Dante?”

Dante hated to encourage Randal, but couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“That’s gross, Randal,” Elias said, brushing his bangs out of his face.  “They’re my friends.”

“Who says you can’t fuck your friends?  Roll for seduction or whatever the hell you guys do.”

Elias sheepishly shook his head and walked towards the stockroom to grab his till.  When he was out of earshot, Dante sighed.  He hadn’t quit thinking about what Randal had said before Elias walked in.

“Like… once,” he mumbled.

Randal looked in his direction.  “What?”

“Becky let me try it once.”

“Just once?” asked Randal.  He shot him a look that almost looked like pity.

“I was too freaked out to do it try it again,” Dante admitted.  “I… I just felt guilty.  Like I was stealing food out of my kid’s mouth.”

“That’s the story of your life, isn’t it?” said Randal.  “The way I see it, I’m doing Ranger a favor.  By the time the little guy decides to join us, those jugs will be full…  Call it a labor of love.”

What Randal said sounded like bullshit, but there was a fondness to it that was not lost on Dante.