The thumping of bass and indecipherable chatter of party guests rattled around in Uni’s brain.  Fuck, she’d had too much.  Way, wayyy too much.  Over the course of the night, she’d drank, smoked, and snorted things that likely had no business in this solar system, let alone her body.  Maybe it was time to pop an aspirin, chug a glass of water, and find a place to take a quick nap.  Or maybe it was time to find Rick and ask if he was ready to go.  He probably wasn’t, and would get irritated with her for even suggesting they call the night early, especially since she was the one that convinced him to take her out partying.  Maybe instead she could ask for his keys and take that nap in the ship, and pray that she didn’t asphyxiate in the process.

As she contemplated weaning herself away from the party, a Scrikkux— or maybe it was a Crozill, she always got them confused… Either way, an alien walked past where she was leaning against the wall.  The sulfuric scent of its pheromones (yep, definitely a Scrikkux) wafted in her direction, bringing with it a fresh wave of nausea.  A hand clamped over her mouth as bile rushed up her throat.  She then weaved through the crowd with haste, stumbling through the unfamiliar house to find a bathroom before she spewed all over the place.

After pushing open a few doors, she successfully located a toilet.  She fell to her knees with a groan before the porcelain throne.  Arms wrapped around the bowl for dear life as the stinging taste of acid grew stronger.  She heaved, launching a torrent of technicolor puke into the water below.  It felt like anything she had ever consumed in her life was forcing itself out of her in that moment.  Just when she had a moment of reprieve, another bout rushed up her esophagus.  This went on forever in her mind, and so much had been expelled from within her that she was worried she might have lost an organ in the process.

Eventually, it tapered off.  All her strength was in the bowl with the contents of her stomach.  She couldn’t bring herself to get up, or flush the toilet, or even slump to the side so that she wouldn’t have to smell it.  She was so busy recovering from fighting for her life that the door swinging open didn’t grab her attention.

Likewise, Rick was only vaguely aware of the body hunched over the commode.  Her presence didn’t deter him from staggering in as he fumbled with his belt.  It fell open after a bit of effort, right as he reached Uni.  After chugging bottle after bottle of who knows what, his bladder was about to burst and nothing in this dimension could stand (or kneel) between him and draining it.  Without a second thought, his long legs straddled either side of her.

It wasn’t feeling him hovering above Uni that finally snapped her back to reality, but the sound of his zipper heard right above her spinning head.  Her brows knit as she tried to make sense of the noise, not even aware that her dirty old booty call was fishing his dick out of his pants as she struggled to string thoughts together.  In her confusion, she looked up, only to be met with the hot splash of his stream of piss as it began.

The sudden shower made her gasp; the parting of her lips as she foolishly did so allowed some of that salty taste to enter her mouth.  She sputtered, angling her head forward so that it was no longer in her face.  She now felt it on the base of her neck, streaming under her top and down the slope of her spine.  In her inebriated state, she still hadn’t registered she was getting pissed on.  In that moment it was just… oddly soothing.  Like a warm blanket tossed over her back.  She giggled, closed her eyes and rested her head on the toilet seat.  Her throat still burned and stomach was still churning, but she chose to focus on the pleasant warmth behind her instead.

“You like that, don’t you?” he muttered after hearing her dreamy sigh.  Not really understanding the weight of the situation, she nodded, causing him to snort.  “You would.”

A smirk crossed his face, and he didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt as he guided his flow lower, now right between her shoulder blades.  Feeling the spray in the middle of her back made her squirm beneath him.  In a great display of restraint, he managed to stop himself just long enough to take a few steps back.  He gripped her shoulder with his free hand and turned her around, propping her back against the side of the tub.  Her state looked even worse from the front.  Her tits were about to tumble out of her top and her skirt had ridden up her thighs.  Piss-damp strands of her messy ponytail clung to her face, and her glasses had slid down to rest on the tip of her nose.  She began to teeter to the side, threatening to slump over onto the tile until he blocked her fall by resting one foot on the edge of the tub.

Adjusting himself to the new position, Rick aimed right at her boobs and willed his half-empty bladder to finish the job.  He bit his lower lip as he waited for it to start back up.  There was a delay, but eventually, he manifested another golden spurt which landed right in the middle of her chest.  With another gasp, she tensed up from the sensation.  The rise of her chest as she did so caused the stream to land in the valley of her cleavage.  A chuckle left him as he whipped it up briefly to splash her mouth again, which she responded to by laughing and weakly holding a hand up like she were being sprayed with something far more innocent.

All too soon, the fun was over.  The stream trickled to a few stray drops, which he shook off in her direction.  Her debauched state was starting to make his cock stiffen, but that could wait.

“You look like shit,” said Rick as he put himself away.  When she didn’t react, he nudged her thigh with his foot.  “You about ready to go?”

She shook her head, but he didn’t buy it.  He scrubbed his face before digging out his portal gun.  He adjusted the coordinates, then shot it at the wall of the bathroom.  When the glowing green swirl appeared, he reached for her bicep.

“C’mon.  Up,” he said with a gentle tug.  “Let’s get your filthy ass out of here.”